ABIGAIL VAN BUREN Girl’s old friends turn away when she returns to school DEAR ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has graduated from high school. She had been in a residential treatment program for depression the year and a half prior to returning to school. Her old friends had promised to be there for her when she returned.

After she was back for three months, her friends stopped inviting her to things and even talked behind her back in a group chat. The girls’ moms knew some of this was going on and did nothing about it.

Now that the girls have all graduated, I’m wondering if I should contact any of them or their moms and ask what happened. Please let me know what you think. — MAMA BEAR OUT WEST DEAR MAMA BEAR: Your daughter has survived high school, and along with it the cruel treatment of the girls who promised to befriend her. For that, I congratulate her.

Teenagers can be so completely centered on themselves that the feelings of others do not exist for them. Also, girls in high school tend to form cliques. Add to that the fact that there is so much misunderstanding about mental illness and I have a pretty good idea of what happened and so should you.

What life lesson do you think exploring this with the other parents will accomplish for your daughter? Your efforts would be better spent by continuing to emotionally support her and encouraging her to move forward.

Dear Abby: My husband’s family is full of people who drink too much and then act like fools, slurring their words and stumbling. It happens at many gatherings, and it stresses me out. They often pressure me to drink more and/or get drunk. Because I don’t, I feel ostracized when I’m told I need to “loosen up” by drinking more.

These days, I avoid those family gatherings as often as possible, but I’m afraid I’m courting more problems by not participating. My relationship with my husband is fantastic, and he understands and supports me, but I don’t feel like his family does. I’ve tried to be frank with them, but the conversations

don’t seem to stick. I can’t avoid them forever. What to do? — In The Minority In Louisiana

Dear Minority: Because you have told your in-laws that being urged to drink makes you uncomfortable yet they persist, you are doing all you can short of cutting off all contact with them. Continue to limit the times you attend, and when asked about your absence, continue to be frank about the reason. Then hope they are sober enough to get the message.