Policeman dismayed by mom using him to discipline child DEAR ABBY ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Dear Abby: The media gives us stories of racial conflict and the shooting of police officers almost daily. As a Hispanic police officer, I have an observation.

I was having lunch the other day with two other officers. Sitting across from us was a young mom whose child was throwing a tantrum. I overheard her say, “I’m going to give you to those police officers and let them beat you!”

Abby, my parents taught me the police were people I could go to if I had a problem. I wonder how many other tired and frustrated parents have made their children afraid of the police and created distrust. Like so many other “social problems,” maybe a lot of this really starts with how parents teach their children. — Police

Are My Friends

Dear Police Officer: It is a huge mistake for parents to instill fear of authority figures in their children, because a day may come when the kid needs help.

And by the way, this doesn’t happen only with law enforcement. I have heard of children who are terrified of doctors because their mothers threatened them by saying if they misbehaved, “the doctor would give them a shot.” To say these are prime examples of poor parenting is putting it mildly.

Dear Abby: I have lived next door to my late husband “Jack’s” 86-year-old mother for the last 26 years.

Recently, she asked for my help changing an light bulb. When she thanked me, I responded, “That’s what family is for!” She looked puzzled and finally said, “Hmm ... I guess we are family, in a way.”

I replied: “Your son and I were married 25 years. You’re the grandmother of our children. I’m pretty sure that makes us family.” She then informed me she had stopped being my mother-inlaw when Jack died.

Abby, I confess, I was not only floored by her remark, but also hurt. She used to always tell me I was the daughter she’d always wanted, but since Jack passed away, it has been painfully obvious it was never true.

So who is right? Is she still my mother-in-law? Or is she

now my “ex”? — Unwanted “Daughter”

Dear Unwanted: Jack’s mother appears to suffer from foot-in-mouth disease. I don’t think she meant to appear rejecting. I think she may have been genuinely puzzled because she thought her in-law relationship with you ended with her son’s death. I am sure she was sincere when she said she loves you like the daughter she never had. Revisit this with her and tell her how it made you feel. You both need to clear the air.