After remarriage, widow cuts contact with her stepfamily

Dear Abby: Our father died nine months after his diagnosis with cancer. Within six months of his funeral, our stepmother of 20-plus years had begun a new relationship. She sold her and Dad’s home and belongings and moved across the country, leaving behind her children, stepchildren and grandchildren. Although she promised to keep in touch with everyone, she hasn’t — not even with her grandchildren.

A few of us tried contacting her during the first six months after she left, but she usually responded only to texts, and then with oneword answers. We realize she has moved on, but how could she cut all ties with those she supposedly cared for? Please advise, Abby. — Baffled Out West

Dear Baffled: Since you haven’t had any meaningful contact with her since her remarriage, I suspect that her new husband has something to do with the silence. He may be controlling or discourages contact because he is threatened by the idea that she had a full life previously. It may also be that she prefers to devote her time and efforts to him and his relatives rather than dwell in the past.

I wish I had more information, but even without it, my advice is for you all to move on. It’s impossible to have a relationship with someone who doesn’t want one.

Dear Abby: I am a very open person, but one thing I am not open about is the STD I have been living with for the last few years. My ex didn’t know he had it, and he gave it to me. Now free of him, I’m ready to date again, but I’m afraid of the judgment I may receive.

I have heard all kinds of stigmatizing, dehumanizing and cruel comments about STDs, and I wonder to myself if people were better educated about this, maybe they wouldn’t sound so ignorant. Unfortunately, I don’t have the emotional strength to deal with rejection right now. So what I’m trying to ask is, how do I go about dating with an STI/ STD? — Moving Forward In Michigan

Dear Moving Forward: According to the Centers for Disease Control nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur every

year in this country, so please don’t think you are alone.

An excellent resource for you would be the American Sexual Health Association, which provides all sorts of reliable information for people with STIs/STDs. The website is ashastd.org, and it offers an online support community. There are also commercial dating sites and apps that cater to people with STIs and STDs. Go online and find out which one may be the best fit for you. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit