New employee strives to keep gastric surgery under wraps

Dear Abby: I had bariatric surgery (gastric sleeve) five months ago. I left my job because the way I was treated changed drastically after my procedure.

I am starting a new job soon and do not want to tell my new employer or co-workers about the operation. People always treat you differently once they know.

My boyfriend thinks I should tell at least HR, in case any medical issues arise while at work because then they would be able to inform medical personnel. I don’t think they need to know. What do you think, Abby? — Treated Differently

Dear Treated Differently: Your medical history is your own business. After five months you should have healed from your surgery. I’m not sure what kind of complications your boyfriend is worried about, but if you experience any, the time to report it to HR will be when they occur.

Dear Abby: I’m a young woman who, for years, went to my aunt and uncle’s house for Thanksgiving. Every year, my aunt has made the turkey and the sides, and my uncle has done the cleanup. I appreciate their hosting every year, but I’d like to find a way to be able to help.

I have offered to clean, but my uncle insists I enjoy myself. I’ve tried to help in the kitchen, but my aunt gently tells me to have fun. I’ve brought wine in previous years, but a family member struggles with drinking.

I have had a lot of health issues over the years and lifelong disabilities, so it has taken me a long time to become independent. I now have my first full-time job. What’s a way I could give to my family? — Thankful In Florida Dear Thankful: A way to do that would be to bring your hosts a lovely flowering plant when you arrive, or alternatively, send a lovely bouquet afterward with a note of thanks. And of course, you could also offer to take them out for a meal post-holiday.

Dear Abby: Our 9-yearold son makes perfect grades. His friends all have cellphones, and I believe he should get one also. My husband thinks he should be a teenager first and learn more responsibility. Am I wrong or is my husband oldfashioned in his approach? — Old-Fashioned In The South

Dear Old-Fashioned: Parents teach their children to be responsible by placing some responsibility on their shoulders. In the current landscape, it’s a good idea for a child to have the ability to communicate in case of an emergency. You could give your son a flip phone so he can do that if necessary.