Launch investigation

It appears that Sherlock has lost his touch as “The Case of the Curling Corners” is back with a vengeance. It is now time to launch an FBI investigation to get to the bottom of this problem. It should probably start with the origin of the seedlings that eventually became the trees that produced the paper. Issues like foreign or domestic manipulation, soil samples, tainted fertilizers, suppression of growth, conspiracy to bastardize seeds, etc. Paper mills should be included with the materials, methods, manpower, motives, marketing, sales or manipulation of any of the foregoing. Also, foreign or unknown substances introduced during the overall process down to the type of ink used should be investigated.

Concurrently with the above they could determine how Mr. Brummett has perfected the art of name-calling as well as mastering the art of deflection. Also included should be Mr. Martin, as his word salad sometimes resembles a type of codespeak as if sending some kind of covert message. Include Mr. Krugman for impersonating a columnist and Mr. Gitz for using 48-word sentences. I forget the first part of the sentence by the time I get to the end. While we are at it, include Mr. “Doc” Crawford, as his letter of Wednesday claims he is a Democrat. He makes too much sense for that. Silly, of course, but reminds me a lot of the current goings-on. That said, I still thoroughly enjoy my DG (dang good) newspaper.

Deus existo nobis!

HOWARD D. HUGHES Maumelle