Obsession with politics turns friendship into one-way street

Dear Abby: I have a friend who constantly talks about negative politics. I’m sick of hearing it. It’s not because I don’t care or disagree, but it has become the topic of every conversation. She’s extremely depressed, has major anxiety issues and, despite seeing a therapist, her condition has gotten worse.

I feel it has become a one-way conversation. This is extremely upsetting because my husband passed away two years ago, and she doesn’t want to hear about it. She thinks it is less important since it “only affects me,” and I “should have gotten over it by now.” My husband and I were married 30 years, and his death was sudden. Please help me get through this difficult time. — Overwhelmed In Iowa Dear Overwhelmed: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. Because you are still grieving, and your friend is unable to help you cope, it might help you to join a grief support group with others who understand.

As to your friendship with the troubled individual you wrote about, it might be healthier for you to step back for a time. You are not equipped to handle her anxiety and depression. That’s her therapist’s job, and unless you can pry her off of politics and on to something more neutral, your time would be better spent with people who are better balanced.

Dear Abby: I have one sister, who is 10 years my junior. I’m widowed now and recently moved to be near my son.

On two occasions my sister has come to help with unpacking and overruled my decisions regarding what I will keep or sell, where to put things, etc. When I objected, she became emotional and left in a huff.

She was coming to help again, but beforehand she told my son how they were planning to get things done. Any time there’s even a hint of a problem, she calls my son and tells him about it, only from her point of view.

I’m afraid irreparable damage has been done to our relationship, and I don’t know what to do. I have no other relatives. Please advise. — Brokenhearted In Texas

Dear Brokenhearted: I’m sorry you are brokenhearted, but with time your broken heart will heal. From your description of her, your sister appears to be overbearing and loose-lipped.

Unless you are willing to live according to her rules, what you should do is hire someone to help you unpack and begin cultivating relationships outside the family that are less high-maintenance than the one you have with your sister. If you do, I’m sure you will be much happier. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit www.DearAbby.com