Wife resists giving support to man’s new career plan

Dear Abby: I am an older IT professional (58) who had a very successful career until I was part of a major layoff. I have not been able to find a job in IT since.

Besides my skills and knowledge in IT, I’m an accomplished handyman with skills in most of the trades. My wife is insistent that I get another job in IT — mostly for the benefits.

Older IT workers have a very hard time finding work in the field. I’d like to start a handyman company since I enjoy this kind of work. If I do, my wife would have to go from part-time at her job to full time to provide us with benefits. This will cause a lot of strain on our marriage because she has made it clear she does not want to.

I think she’s being selfish.

I have provided her with a very nice lifestyle for many years and feel it’s time she step up. I’m not sure how to broach the subject without an argument. Help? — Switching Gears

Dear Switching: Expect an argument and be prepared for it. You are not responsible for having been laid off. There is plenty of ageism in your field, and it isn’t surprising you can’t find a comparable job in IT.

Frankly, you are fortunate to have both an alternative and the initiative to start a handyman business. Good handymen are hard to find, and your wife should make the effort to support you in what could be a successful endeavor once it gets on its feet.

Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years. He has three siblings, all in their 20s, none married.

Today I received a group email from his mom addressed to him, his father, his grandmother, all three siblings and their boyfriends/ girlfriends (including me) asking for Christmas wish lists. She wants to know what we would like and would like all of us to “reply all” on the email so everyone else will have ideas for presents.

I don’t know how to respond! I don’t want to appear greedy, but I do like the idea that she wants to get us all presents that we will

like. Can you give me any suggestions on the best way to respond? — Perplexed In Alabama

Dear Perplexed: Your boyfriend’s mother is a generous — and sensible — woman. She is soliciting ideas because she doesn’t want to waste her time or money. Answer her question. Tell her what you would like, as long as it won’t break the bank. Your boyfriend can probably give you some hints about her budget. I suggest you talk to him about it.