A single unkind remark can do lasting damage

That night was one of those nights, when you’re a parent of a special needs child,and you want to just sit in a closet alone and cry.

We went to Walmart. My husband had to visit the restroom, so the children and I waited in the electronics section for his return.

We passed by a family with two kids about the age of my oldest daughter, who is blind. My youngest daughter was in the top of the cart, and my special needs child was sitting in the basket. The little boy, old enough to be taught some manners, looked at my child, then looked at his mom and sister and said, in a very loud voice, “Ohhh, that girl looks so scary!”

I was so upset. I looked at him and his family and said, “That is NOT a very nice thing to say about anyone!”

My daughter said, “Why would he say that, Mommy? Is it because he was looking at my eyes?” I said, “He said it because his parents are obviously not teaching him that everyone is created different and unique in their own way. The boy’s mother glared at me. Normally, I would not have said something like I did (loud enough for her to hear), but it looked as if she were going to say something hateful — to most likely defend herself as a parent or her child.

I understand that we do not all parent the same way. But it would be so much less hurtful for our children if we taught them all that everyone is unique in their own way. It is not nice to bully or make fun of anyone!

My daughter started bawling when my husband came back, and she was telling him what happened. She said, “I don’t want to be different anymore! People who don’t know me always make fun of me.”

I couldn’t help but cry. I couldn’t help but hurt for her. My heart broke a hundred times listening to her talk to her daddy. Until you are a parent of a special needs child, you will never know the heartbreak you feel in the situation we faced. Yes, children are curious and have the right to ask questions and to not understand. Of course, that’s part of them growing and learning. But if you had watched the heartbreak come over my beautiful daughter, you might have understood a little of what we go through.

My daughter has gone through years of therapy at the Elizabeth Richardson Center and has been so spunky and so determined. She learned to talk, walk, eat, read braille — she is just amazing, so much so that they made a video of her therapy through her first five years.

We can tell her all day, every day, how beautiful and smart and special she is to us, and it only takes one person to ruin her confidence in herself. AMBER OLIVER Lowell