Woeful words

Confusion seemed to reign last week, and that was before my bout with the flu. Lake Superior State University, troublemaker that it is, added to the confusion and released its 44th annual “List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-use, Overuse and General Uselessness” a day earlier than usual. According to the comments I read, it irked quite a few who pointed out that tradition holds it be released on either Dec. 31 or Jan. 1. Darn Michigan academe, always trying to mess with us.

I wasn’t bothered by the early release, but I managed to miss it when it came out. This week, then, we’ll delve into some of the words on that list.

Among the words to banish:

■ “Wheelhouse,” as in area of expertise. Chris of Battle Creek, Mich., said, “It’s not in my wheelhouse to explain why dreadful words should be banished!” Kevin of Portland, Ore., added, “It’s an awkward word to use in the 21st century. Most people have never seen a wheelhouse.”

An actual wheelhouse would be a small enclosed section of a boat’s bridge that historically holds the steering wheel. In baseball, it refers to a batter’s power zone—where the batter swings with the most power or strength, according to The Dickson Baseball Dictionary, which is probably how it came to mean something that plays to our strengths.

■ “In the books,” as in finished or concluded.

“In the books” strikes me as yet another cliché used when the writer writes like he’s being paid by the word. “To be sure” and “at the end of the day” qualify as well … in irritating me. Most of the time it’s unnecessary filler. Being clearer and more succinct is preferred. If not, at least be funny.

■ “Collusion,” as in two or more parties limiting competition by deception. John of Grosse Pointe Park, Mich., wrote, “We all need to collude on getting rid of this word.”

I’m pretty sure I know someone else who wants to be rid of it. Or “collussion,” as he said in that one tweet that resulted in him being trolled by Dictionary.com. Fun times.

■ “OTUS” family of acronyms such as POTUS, FLOTUS, SCOTUS. David of Kinross, Mich., said they are “Overused useless [words] for the president, Supreme Court, first lady.”

But we at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette are fond of one Otus— that would be the Head Cat. Like Owner (and TV writer) Michael Storey, he is much missed around here. ■ “Ghosting,” as in withdrawing from communication with someone. Carrie of Caledonia, Mich., wrote, “Somebody doesn’t want to talk with you. Get over it. No need to bring the paranormal into the equation.”

I hear Caspar and the pirates from Pirates of the Caribbean are quite upset about this one. For me, it’s just one more of the newer texting, etc., terms that make me roll my eyes. I guess I’m just too old for it, and getting older on Sunday. Sigh.

■ “Optics.” Bob of Tempe, Ariz., said it’s just “the trendy way to say ‘appearance’.” Yep, it is, and it’s annoying, but likely to stick around, especially during an administration always concerned with how certain people view its actions. The media need a punchy word to describe that, and that word is “optics.”

■ “Thought Leader.” Matt of Superior, Colo., wrote, “Thoughts aren’t ranked or scored. How can someone hold a thought-lead, much less even lead by thought?” Paul of Ann Arbor, Mich., added, “If you follow a thought leader, you’re not much of a thinker.”

I feel like that one needs a “badum-bum.” And “thought leader” needs to take “social media influencer” with it.

■ “Most important election of our time.” For the first time in my memory, an Arkansan was quoted in the press release announcing the list. José of Ozark opined, “Not that we haven’t had six or seven back-to-back most important elections of our time.”

Who’s judging the importance of these elections anyway? I’d say most elections are important, but few could ever qualify as “most important” of our time. But hyperbole doesn’t care.

Other words and phrases included on the latest list: “Wrap my head around,” “platform,” “yeet,” “litigate,” “grapple,” “eschew,” “crusty,” “legally drunk,” “importantly,” and “accoutrements.”

The list isn’t as interesting as some in years past, but then, not every year can have a “fake news” (last year) or “an accident that didn’t have to happen” (2006). Remember, the university has no power to actually banish the words and phrases, so you won’t be jailed or fined for using them.

You will, though, probably get the stinkeye.

I’m still getting notes from readers who are irritated by some words and wish they’d just go away. I can’t disagree with them.

Art Pfeifer is bugged by “funeralized,” which the university banished in 1981, proving that some words just won’t go away no matter how much we want them to.

Jack W. Hill (literally one of my favorite people) despises “price point” (banished in 2016) and “human resources,” which surprisingly has yet to be drubbed.

There’s something very Terminator-like in the phrase “human resources” … will we also have an “AI resources” soon? Will Bot349 be processing my paperwork?

No wonder I haven’t gotten much sleep lately.