Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

Readers advocate respect for opposing viewpoints

- ABIGAIL VAN BUREN Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit www.DearAbby.com

Dear Abby:

I’m writing regarding “Open-Minded in the South” (Nov. 24), the Christian woman who’s a supporter of the LGBTQ community. She’s concerned about her boyfriend’s mother’s inability to see her viewpoint and the effect it would have on future kids. I experience­d something nearly identical. My boyfriend’s grandfathe­r is an ordained pastor, and they raised their kids in a conservati­ve home. After a few conversati­ons with them about LGBTQ people and other issues, we received a six-page letter detailing the “sins” we were committing.

Fast-forward 20 years: I get along with my in-laws fabulously. In fact, the grandfathe­r has said I’m his favorite! We don’t agree on pretty much anything politicall­y, but I do still voice my opinion if the family says something I don’t agree with.

My husband and I have two kids who often hear the in-laws say some judgmental things, and it’s a great segue to a conversati­on with my kids afterward. They understand that not everyone is going to have the same beliefs, and even though we don’t agree on these issues, we love them dearly. It definitely isn’t a reason to end a good relationsh­ip.

As to “Open-Minded’s” boyfriend not being up for the argument with his mom, he could be like my husband who has had conversati­ons

with them to no avail and realizes it’s futile. — Been There And Still There

Dear Been There: My readers used “Open-Minded’s” letter as an opportunit­y to have a forum about respect, love and civility. I found their comments both valid and refreshing. Read on:

Dear Abby: It is interestin­g that open-minded people are often open-minded only if you agree with them and are otherwise completely dogmatic. Neither party will ever convince the other that they are wrong. The solution: Don’t talk about the issue.

We have a relative who holds office in a political party opposite to ours. We have a tacit agreement to simply never talk politics, and we get along great. Life is short, and there’s nothing more important than family and friends. Agree to disagree! —

Calm In Kentucky Dear Abby:

When people have an opposing point of view, it doesn’t mean they hate you or are ignorant. Our culture is increasing­ly unable to engage in reasoned dialogue. People resort to shouting down reasonable thought and civil debate. My wife and I disagree over substantiv­e issues, but we cope. Our society needs to work toward a renewal of civility. — No Hate In Texas

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