Tips for taking car keys away from unfit drivers

At some point, almost everybody becomes too old to drive — safely. But deciding when is often left to caregivers, as most drivers don’t see the end of the road until something bad happens.

It’s a fraught time. No one wants to lose the independence that driving provides. According to surveys, adult children say the “car key conversation” is harder than discussing funeral plans or selling the family home. Physicians wrestle with whether they should step in and what their legal liability might be.

Statistics show that, per mile driven, drivers over the age of 75 are almost as dangerous as teenagers. Driver errors tend to increase with age and diminishing physical abilities. Use of medications can impair senses or attention, too.

Here are ways to stop someone from driving. Caveat: None is guaranteed, and none is necessarily easy to do.

1. Report them to the department of motor vehicles.

2. Use Alzheimer’s disease or dementia forgetfulness as an opportunity to remove the car and reminders of driving. Distract them until they forget about driving altogether.

3. Have a relative or close friend “borrow” the car.

4. Hide or “lose” the keys. 5. Take the car in for repairs.

6. Disable the car.

7. Sell the car.

8. Hide your own car and car keys.

DIGEST THIS

It varies by individual, and men tend to do it faster than women. But generally speaking, it takes six to eight hours for food to pass through your stomach and small intestine before entering the large intestine (colon) for some additional digestion, water absorption and preparation as waste.

Foods digest at different rates. Carbohydrates break down most quickly, especially refined or processed carbs such as those in white bread or table sugar. Carbs with higher levels of fiber, such as those found in whole fruits and grains, digest more slowly. Proteins are more complex molecules, and dismantling them takes more time. Fats are slower to digest as well.

Here’s a rough timetable for some edibles: Water moves into the intestine almost immediately upon being consumed. Fruit juice: 15 to 20 minutes. Raw vegetables: 30 to 40 minutes. Fish: 45 to 60 minutes. Salad with oil: 1 hour. Starchy vegetables or chicken: 1½ to 2 hours. Whole grains and dairy: 2 hours. Nuts or beef: 3 hours. Lamb: 4 hours. Pork: 5 hours.

COUNTS

15-18: Number of people, in millions, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates have come down with the flu so far this season

184-221: Number of people, in thousands, who have been hospitalized for their illnesses

Source: CDC

MANIA

Logomania: A compulsive tendency to be wordy, talkative or loquacious.

Not to be confused with Legomania, an obsession with small plastic building bricks manufactured in Denmark.

PUBLISH OR PERISH

Many, if not most, published research papers have titles that defy comprehension. They use jargon, complex words and opaque phrases like “nonlinear dynamics.” Sometimes they don’t, and they’re still hard to figure out. Here’s an actual title of actual published research:

“On human odour, malaria mosquitoes, and Limburger cheese” by Bart GJ Knols. The Lancet. Nov. 9, 1996.

SELF-EXAM

Q: Where is your “anatomical snuffbox”?

A: Hold out your hand, fingers extended. You should see a triangular deepening on the top of the hand below the base of the thumb (inside part of wrist). “Anatomical snuffbox” originates from the use of this surface for placing and then sniffing powdered tobacco or snuff, a habit popular in the 16th through 18th centuries among certain European social classes.

DOC TALK

A “Hasselhoff” is an emergency room patient whose injuries are the result of bizarre circumstances. The name refers to former Baywatch actor David Hasselhoff, who was injured in a bizarre fashion in 2006 when he hit his head on a chandelier while shaving. The broken glass severed four tendons as well as an artery in his right arm, which required immediate surgery.

FIT TO BE TRIED

There are thousands of exercises, and you’ve only got one body, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try them all:

The hip raise: Lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor. Brace your core, squeeze your glutes (butt muscles) and raise your hips so your body forms a straight diagonal line from your shoulders to your knees. Pause for 5 seconds, squeezing your gluteals tightly the entire time, and then lower back to the start. Repeat.

The hip raise targets the muscles of your rear end, which can help flatten your belly. When the glutes are weak, the top of the pelvis tilts forward, causing the stomach to stick out and stressing the lower back.

Burpees are a really good whole-body exercise — a kind of hybrid jump-squat-pushup — that promotes cardiovascular endurance, muscle strength and complaining.

Start by standing upright with your feet shoulder-width apart and your arms down at your sides. With your hands out in front of you, begin to squat down. When your hands reach the ground, pop your legs straight back into a pushup position.

Do a pushup.

Come back up to the starting pushup position and jump your feet up to your palms by hinging at the waist. Get your feet as close to your hands as you can get them. Stand up straight, bringing your arms above your head. Jump.

That’s just one rep! Try to do three sets of 10. Add reps and sets as you get stronger.

CURTAIN CALL

According to Valerius Maximus, a first-century Roman historian, the ancient Greek tragedian Aeschylus was killed by a tortoise dropped by an eagle that mistook his bald head for a rock upon which to shatter the shell of the reptile.

Pliny, another Roman historian, observed that Aeschylus had been staying outdoors to avert a prophecy that said he would be killed by a falling object.