Things I just don’t get

Maybe it’s just me, but there are some things I just don’t get. I don’t get why they still make men’s bikes and women’s bikes. When was the last time a lady in a dress rode a bike? In the 1920s, maybe?

I don’t get why most everyone avoids using the word “died” as if it is a dirty word, which, I guess, it is fast becoming. Most likely some future Bible translation will proclaim that Jesus “passed away” for our sins.

In a similar vein, I don’t get why 99 percent or so of the English-speaking population favor the use of “snuck” as the past tense of “sneak” instead of the better-sounding “sneaked.” Maybe it’s just me.

I don’t get flip-flops. I like a little protection on my toes. I might wear them on a beach, if I ever went to a beach.

I don’t get it. Are hunters so ashamed of what they do that they have to use camouflage words such as “take” and “harvest” instead of kill? Are we fast becoming a nation of wimps? Did I mention that maybe it’s just me?

I don’t get contemporary writers’ fascination with dirty words, especially in the poetry realm. My observation is that rhyming is out while profanity is in.

And then there’s the biggest “I don’t get it” of all. Every summer, it’s the same old mystery: Why do baseball players have to spit so much? In addition to the “Golden Glove” and “Silver Slugger” awards, MLB should give a “Brass Spittoon” award to the best spitter. MLB officially banned the spitball in 1921 but, alas, not spitting.

But there is one thing I do get. Any country that allows the freedom to disrespect its flag is all the more reason to respect that flag.

JOHN McPHERSON

Searcy