Late-night surprise damages dad-and-daughter relationship

Dear Abby: My 20-yearold daughter recently caught me “actively engaged” in watching porn. I tried to do it late at night when I thought everyone was asleep. She now thinks I’m a pervert.

Her mother raised her with conservative beliefs about any expression of sexuality. I’m worried about her ability to make a future marriage work, and I want the wonderful relationship we shared back. Some people have suggested that as she matures and becomes more aware of the real world, she’ll come around. But I’m a relatively old 58 to have a child her age, and I don’t want to wait until I’m gone for her to “come around.” What can I do? — Missing My Baby Girl Dear Missing: Your baby girl isn’t a baby; she’s a young adult woman. Most individuals are uncomfortable with the idea of their parents as sexual beings despite the glaring evidence to the contrary. She may have reacted the way she did because she was embarrassed.

Do not broach the subject of what her marriage may be like if and when she marries, because it’s really her affair, not yours. Apologize for the unfortunate turn of events, and use this as an opportunity to be more careful in the future.

Dear Abby: Recently, a friend invited me along on a six-night trip to Waikiki. We shared the same hotel room. He slept in the king-size bed; I slept on the pull-out sofa.

I ended up getting bed bugs and figured out where I got them from when I got back to my apartment in Los Angeles. When I told my friend what happened, he immediately said he didn’t want to be involved or be a part of this. Then he said that if I filed a claim, he would be banned by the hotel chain and lose his gold member points. Then he asked how I knew I didn’t get them from a movie theater or maybe the airplane or even a wellknown coffee chain I go to. Now he won’t return my phone calls, emails or text messages. I am shocked and feel hurt and confused. — Bitten In California Dear Bitten: I understand why you are shocked and hurt, but please don’t be confused. Your former good friend values his gold membership status more than he does your friendship, which speaks volumes about his priorities. While he isn’t wrong that you could have picked them up elsewhere — bedbugs are all over the place and hard to get rid of — if he was a true friend, he wouldn’t be ghosting you now.

Call the hotel and explain what happened. Give them the room number so they can investigate and possibly prevent another guest from having the same experience you did.