Constant talk about losing weight has unhealthy effect

Dear Abby: My dad had a heart attack and nearly died a year ago. Since then, our family has revamped our diets to become healthier.

I have battled an unhealthy relationship with both alcohol and food, and have been seeking help. I have come to realize my body dysmorphia comes from my mom and sister and their constant talk about losing weight. Every single family event there’s a discussion about it.

I want to support Dad. How do I politely tell them I can no longer be around the constant “lose weight” talk or healthy food talk because it is hindering my own ability to heal and be happy with my body? And how do I tell a family of drinkers I’m no longer drinking? — Unhealthy In The Midwest

Dear Unhealthy: Congratulations on the lifestyle changes you are adopting. Change isn’t easy, and how your family reacts to the new you will affect your relationship with all of them.

Approach your mother and your sister privately. Explain that in getting help for your own issues, you have discovered that certain subjects are detrimental to your recovery, and you would appreciate it if they were not a topic of conversation.

As to explaining your abstinence from alcohol, I do not think it is realistic to expect them to stop because you have chosen to. When drinks are offered, ask for something nonalcoholic. If they insist you have “just one,” you may have to curtail your time with them.

Dear Abby: I have a friend I connect with on many different levels, but he’s already in a relationship. He tells me he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me, but he never talks about leaving her. He says things will naturally work themselves out.

He says he isn’t trying to have his cake and eat it too, but that is how it feels. I’m confused about what to do. My heart and my head are at odds. Please give me some advice. — Confused Girl In Love

Dear Confused Girl:

Your friend has two women, and you have half a man. He may love you, but if he was

love with you, he would end the relationship with his girlfriend. He never talks about leaving her because he doesn’t intend to.

I know the idea of breaking things off is painful, but while you have romantic feelings for this person, you won’t be free to find anybody else. You deserve someone who is willing to make the same kind of commitment to you that you are willing to make to him. Repeat that daily until he’s out of your system.