Man’s dramatic weight loss causes gossip and concern

Dear Abby: My husband has lost a significant amount of weight over a very short period of time. He isn’t on drugs and eats well. I have begged him to see a doctor. He has come up with a variety of reasons for why he has lost weight. First it was because he was stressed at work. Then it was because he was stressed at home.

All the church ladies have concluded that I don’t cook at home (which I do). People are asking me if he is on drugs. Friends and family are deeply concerned but scared to approach him about his health because he swears he feels fine.

I love my husband. He’s a good man, although he can sometimes be stubborn and closed-minded. I’m terrified that he’s dying of cancer

and he’s going to leave me a single mom. It has been 10 months. — Alarmed In

Louisiana

Dear Alarmed: Some people foolishly avoid going to the doctor because they are afraid of what they will hear. You should be alarmed because your husband’s sudden, unexplained, prolonged weight loss can be a symptom of a life-threatening illness.

This is not a question of if or how well you cook (bless those church ladies!), or whether your husband is on drugs. It is a question of you alerting his doctor, explaining what’s going on and possibly saving his life. If he won’t listen to reason, put it in terms of him being alive long enough to see his child/children into adulthood. But if he still won’t listen to reason, then all you can do is make sure his affairs are in order in case the worst happens.

Dear Abby: I am about to be shipped off to basic training for the Army, and I have heard many horror stories about military spouses cheating while their significant other is away. Any advice on how to make sure my relationship doesn’t end up like that? Do you think she will cheat? — Wondering In Tennessee Dear Wondering: Having never met your significant other, I have no way of guessing whether she will cheat on you — just as I can’t predict if the reverse will be true. But this I do know: Communication is the key to overcoming the physical distance. Writing and Skyping as often as you can to share what’s going on will keep you from drifting apart.

Will there be more temptations while you’re separated? Probably. That’s true for both of you. If you plan on spending the rest of your life with this person — or anyone — you should be confident that she’s trustworthy.