Before or after

The burning question of when to decorate for Christmas

It appears we in Northwest Arkansas, like the rest of our great nation, are locked in the throes of a conflict that has divided us like nothing before and threatens the very fabric of our republic.

In homes across this area and from shore to shore, we’re being asked to choose a side and defend our position in the face of withering criticism.

We have to stand up and announce to the world whether decorating for Christmas should happen before or after Thanksgiving.

Oh, wait … I bet you were thinking of something else.

All right, all right, so maybe this conflict doesn’t involve potential crimes in countries very few of us could find on a map. That doesn’t make it any less important. Mostly because you can fight over it, and that’s often the point of things and the only consistent in these contentious times.

It’s just that there is a certain order to things, and that order is largely being trampled. And some of us just aren’t happy about it.

For years, the widely accepted process of things has been thus: Christmas decorations come out the weekend immediately after Thanksgiving and are taken down New Year’s Day. All while watching football on television, to assure the job will take as long as possible. It helps, also, if you drink during the decorating. But then, that’s pretty true of most things around the holidays.

This is the Natural Order of Things. The Way Things Should Be. The Golden Chain that Binds the Generations. The Law of the Jungle (wait, that’s something else. Involves wolves. Maybe not holiday-related. Or, considering your family, maybe it is …).

Anyway, the point is that for most of us, the correct order of things was laid down long ago and has gone unchanged for years. Maybe it’s family tradition. Maybe it’s suddenly having the free time to pull everything out of the garage so you can get to those decorations hidden in the corner. Maybe it’s the showing of deference to the Pilgrims by at least waiting until Black Friday and the leftovers are gone to forget about them for another year in favor of holiday shopping.

Maybe it’s that you’re literally willing to do anything, even dangerous stuff involving a ladder and electricity, to keep from having to talk to your relatives a minute longer.

Whatever. To many families, the order (sequence) of decorating is more like an order (as in a group of people united in purpose). Or an order (command) to get it done.

Now, however, all of that is being thrown out the already-decorated-with-fake-snow window as Christmas lights and even — say it ain’t so – trees are going up in mid-November. Heck, might as well do it before Halloween. Or the Fourth of July. Or just leave them up all year … OK, let’s not go giving anyone ideas here.

I’d like to assume this is all driven by a greater infusion of the Christmas spirit. However, what I think a lot of this is driven by is the hiring of a people to do the heavy lifting of installing our lights, leaving us the important task of messing up the timer and blinding the neighbors.

If you’re doing the decorating, you can wait till virtually Christmas Eve (again, let’s stop with the idea-giving here). If you’re hiring it done, you’ve got to get on the schedule, which means, well, November, since your holiday spirit is now a matter of logistics.

It’s not like I’m being critical. Someone else puts the lights up for the Smith Holiday Extravaganza, mostly because I’ve fallen off all the houses I want to. OK, technically, I didn’t want to fall off any houses. It just sort of worked out that way. Repeatedly.

But when I head home in the gloom of an early winter day and see the lights twinkling (Or maybe just being on. “Twinkling” costs extra.), I’m overcome by conflicting emotions. On the one hand, it’s too early. On the other, it’s just right.

So maybe it’s OK to break a few traditions. After all, there are rules and then there are actual rules, and all of them seem to be up in the air these days. And whether it’s technically the right time or not, well, the neighborhood sure looks pretty. At least for the houses of those who planted the pre-Thanksgiving flag this year. Along with one of those giant inflatable snow globes and a team of tiny plastic reindeer.

And if I want to start a fight, all I have to do is mention dry versus moist stuffing at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

That will definitely kick the holidays off right.

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