Weary wife is ready to leave loveless, unfulfilling marriage

Dear Abby: I have been married for 24 years and have two daughters, 18 and 14. I’m in a business with my husband and work six days a week. We don’t take vacations, go on dates or spend time together outside work.

I have had my own bedroom for 15 years because he needs his sleep. Our sex life ended two years ago because he says I’m too heavy. He complains that I’m not giving him attention, but then he’ll comment on my appearance or criticize me for small tasks that I didn’t do “his” way.

Is it wrong to want to divorce him and be free of this loveless marriage? He has had two affairs and blames me for them. I have been going to night school to take up nursing to support myself as a backup plan.

I know what I need to do, but I guess I’m looking for validation. There’s got to be more to life than what I’m living. — Fed Up In Michigan

Dear Fed Up: I agree. That you think you will be happier apart from a spouse who deprives you of companionship and affection, cheats, blames you for it and criticizes you regularly is understandable. Under these circumstances, your feelings are valid. However, before making any announcements, schedule an appointment with an attorney who can guide you in what steps to take to protect yourself.

Dear Abby: “Cheryl” has been one of my best friends for a long time. She has helped me through many issues over the years, as I have done for her. We live several states apart and talk on a daily basis. We both use dating apps and websites.

She has asked me to help her sort through her messages. It has become torture for me because I have begun having romantic feelings for her. I don’t know if it would be fair to tell her because of the distance. I know she won’t move to be with me because she takes care of her father who lives with her.

I wouldn’t have an issue with moving there, but I don’t want to make that decision unless I know her feelings are similar. I also don’t want to risk losing a friend. I’m not sure if I should just bury these feelings or let her know. Please help. — Conflicted In Tennessee

Dear Conflicted: The first thing you should tell your friend is that you are not comfortable sorting through her messages. When she asks you why, explain that after these many years of best friendship, you have begun to develop romantic feelings for her. How she reacts will help you to determine what to do next. She may or may not reciprocate your feelings. But if she doesn’t, you will be emotionally free to find love elsewhere.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit www.DearAbby.com