Teen sexual assault victim seeks closure after 50 years

Dear Abby: Fifty years ago, at the age of 17, I was raped by a high school classmate. At the time, I was living in an apartment with a friend, “Becky.” She and three male classmates witnessed the attack and did nothing. I never reported the assault because I was scared, embarrassed and ashamed.

Fifteen years ago, I moved back. I see all those people frequently around town, which reminds me of that terrible night. I don’t think it’s fair that I have had to live with this for 50 years while the others appear to have forgotten. None of them ever apologized or acknowledged their part in the attack.

I would like to confront those involved. I believe calling out these people will give me peace of mind. My

husband and I are planning to move, so I will never have to see any of them again. Should I confront all of them or just my attacker? Or should I let sleeping dogs lie?

— Assaulted In Idaho

Dear Assaulted: Before deciding whether to confront these people, I think you should discuss what happened with a licensed therapist, specifically one who works with patients who have PTSD.

A way to find help in making this important decision would be to contact RAINN (rainn.org or 800-656-4673). RAINN is the free, confidential national sexual assault hotline, and it’s available 24/7.

Dear Abby: I’m a beautiful 77-year-old woman in excellent health who has fun traveling internationally. I will soon be taking my oldest daughter to Europe at my expense because I want a companion.

I’m 19 years older than she is. She also is in great health and has a fun-loving personality. We look like sisters. However, I don’t want her to call me “Mom” while we are out in public places. Can I ask her not to call me that?

She is stubborn and always has been, but I love her and want her around while I’m traveling, rather than friends. She’s single, but I’m not.

I need my daughter to go with me. Can you give me some ideas on how to approach her to not call me “Mom” in public? What if

she refuses to go with me? — One Stipulation In The South

Dear Stipulation: I can’t help but wonder why not being called “Mom” is so important to you. I have read your letter several times, and I’m struck by the fact that it’s all about you and what

you want. Your daughter is long past 21, and I’m sure she can make her own decisions. You can ask her not to call you “Mom,” but whether she will agree and won’t forget to not address you that way is anyone’s guess. Old habits die hard.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren,also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O.Box 69440,Los Angeles,CA 90069 or visit