But he’s always right

I believe Donald Trump’s rambling, misleading, and self-contradictory pronouncements have been mischaracterized by his critics as the products of dementia, derangement, stupidity, manipulation, egomania, wishful thinking, and so on. What these critics are missing is that Trump is actually an oracle. Just like the famous Oracle at Delphi.

The Oracle at Delphi is said to have delivered prophecies to the ancient Greeks in a frenzied state, speaking in gibberish and blowing smoke. The prophecies were often vague and made no sense. Officials of the Delphic cult, known as “prophetai,” interpreted the Oracle’s gibberish for those who came seeking answers and guidance. In our time, this function is served by various administration officials, Republican legislators, a certain bunch of clerics and Fox News.

The Oracle was always right, and no one was ever allowed to challenge it. If its humble petitioners did not grasp the profound meaning concealed in its message, it was always their fault. For example, when King Croesus of Lydia asked the Oracle if he should attack Persia, he was told that “a great empire will be destroyed.” Encouraged, Croesus attacked and managed to destroy not Persia, but his own empire.

So if you don’t understand what Trump is babbling about, make sure to get the correct interpretation du jour from one of his prophetai. They will help you to appreciate his genius. But remember: The empire you destroy may be your own.

HANA MIRONOFF

Fayetteville