Mom’s ‘friends’ abandon her after third child is born

Dear Abby: I recently welcomed my third child, a boy, who was wanted and planned. We are overjoyed.

My news was met with mixed reactions. After my son was born, I didn’t get visits or even a phone call from some of my “friends.”

I know my son won’t really be affected by this. I’m trying to focus on the positives. We have a big family and many people have warmly welcomed him. But I have supported these women in their times of need and even reached out during this pandemic to check on them in an effort to reconnect. I’m so disappointed. What am I supposed to say to them when I run into them again? — New

Mom Again Dear Mom: Be cordial, make polite conversation and ask how they and their families are doing. If they inquire, tell them you and your family are well. Then move on, recognizing you are dealing with individuals who are solely centered upon themselves. Do not attempt to revive a relationship with anyone who cares so little about you that they would treat you as they have. You are fortunate that you know not to invest any more of your time in them.

Dear Abby: I divorced my abusive ex-husband and am happily remarried. My kids saw a lot of physical and emotional abuse when they were young. My son witnessed more of the abuse than my daughter.

My son has constantly brought up the past and has never been able to make a decent living. He’s married with three children, and they live with his mother-in-law. I have apologized many times for the past and asked for forgiveness. I don’t know what else I can do.

I always send birthday and holiday money, but for some reason they have stopped answering my calls or responding to my texts. They used to call me when they needed money, but now they don’t call at all. Should I stop sending birthday checks? They missed Mother’s Day and my heart is broken. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. — Paying For The Past Dear Paying: You will never know what you “did wrong” unless one of your adult offspring decides to tell you. I hope you realize that you are being abused again, this time by two passiveaggressive adults. You are not the reason your son lives with his mother-in-law. As to your daughter, who knows her reason for radio silence?

Please stop flogging yourself. Start living your own life. Bind up that broken heart and focus on happiness with your new husband because, as things stand, you’re not going to find much with these two. Send cards if you must, but omit the money. If you do, I’m sorry to say you may hear from them sooner.