Woman fumes when man won’t take time to phone

Dear Abby: I have been in a relationship with the same man for 15 years. He’s a machinist who works strict hours of 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday-Friday. Sometimes he works an hour or two later, but doesn’t let me know. I have told him calling is common courtesy. Sometimes he calls, but thinks it’s “ridiculous” that I would wonder where he is.

Last Saturday he was up at 6 a.m. and told me he needed to drive 100 miles north of here to look at a “project” for a guy he has recently started a friendship with. It seemed odd that he wouldn’t let me go along. He said he’d have his phone on him, and I could call anytime.

When I didn’t hear from him all day, I started calling around 7 p.m., but he didn’t pick up. He pulled back into our driveway around 10 p.m. and told me he was helping the guy move cows, and he would have called me but his phone died.

I’m upset. He had dinner with them, and they have a landline he could have used. I told him how hurt I was and that I feel disrespected. He says he deserved a day to himself. He thinks I’m being ridiculous. Am I? Do I not deserve a phone call? — Waiting And Waiting In Montana

Dear Waiting: You are not ridiculous. It was thoughtless of him not to call, but you said it doesn’t happen all the time. You are his lady friend, not his keeper. If he needs a day to himself, it might benefit your relationship to cut him some slack. And when it happens again, schedule something fun for yourself so you aren’t sitting by the phone.

Dear Abby: Our family and extended family are all highly educated individuals with advanced degrees. My son’s wife didn’t go to college. She is nice but butchers the English language.

My granddaughter will be learning to talk soon, and I wonder what’s the best way to approach the situation. I don’t want to offend my daughter-in-law, but I also don’t want my granddaughter learning improper grammar. What are your suggestions? — Unsure On The West Coast

Dear Unsure: The more time your grandchild spends with all of you, the better her chances of learning proper grammar. Do not talk “baby talk” with her. Read to her and give her books as gifts. If her mother reads them to her daughter, they both may have a better chance of learning good grammar. Being around her well-educated father will also help.

The only thing you should not do is say anything that will make your son’s wife self-conscious about her upbringing because if you do, you may be seeing a lot less of that little family.