Woman ashamed to admit she was victimized online

Dear Abby: After using online dating for almost a year, I have met someone, and it’s getting serious. Problem is, early on, he told about a woman who asked him for money online and how stupid she must’ve thought he was. He told me he couldn’t understand how a person could send money to someone they’d never met.

Well, I was drawn in by an online person. I sent money several times. I am a well-educated and successful, but so ashamed of this that I haven’t gone to the authorities. I cut ties with the person. He promised to pay me back, but I haven’t seen a penny.

I haven’t told a soul about this. Should I disclose it to my boyfriend? I want to be honest, but I also wonder if what’s in the past should be left in the past. — Ashamed Southern Lady

Dear Lady: I see no reason for you to discuss this with the man you are currently seeing, unless it is to enlighten him that even well-educated, successful people can be gullible under the right circumstances.

Because you feel you were taken advantage of, it couldn’t hurt to notify the authorities. Yes it’s embarrassing, but human beings make mistakes. If you were preyed upon and the person was a scammer, you might be doing someone else a favor by reporting it.

Dear Abby: My granddaughter-to-be is an doll. My concern is her family. They treat her like Cinderella.

She cleans, cooks, and takes care of her disabled sister. She is 21, but because she’s living with her parents until she and my grandson are married, she has to ask permission to go anywhere or do anything. She also believes everything they tell her, most of it is B.S.

I fear her family will interfere with their marriage and expect her to still take care of her lazy relatives. She has told them things will change once she’s married, but she is easily manipulated. How can I convince her to set boundaries without sounding like I’m trying to manipulate her? — Only Wants The Best For Them

Dear Only Wants: Creating boundaries is going to be a new experience for this young woman. While it may eventually be liberating, it probably won’t be comfortable in the beginning. Thankfully, she will have your grandson at her side to reinforce her.

Befriend her and listen when she needs to talk. With parents that controlling, she’s going to need support and validation. When she needs to strengthen her backbone, remind (don’t lecture) her that as a married woman, her first priority must be her husband and — if they are blessed with any — her children, and repeat often.