After 30 years, first love reappears in woman’s life

Dear Abby: I have come into contact with my first and forever love again after 30 years. We have had a few encounters throughout the years. When they happened, we fell right back into our comfort zone.

We are both in relationships with others that are not satisfying. No one compares to the one I have with this man. Even though he never says it, I know he has hidden feelings toward me.

This man has held my heart my entire life. Do I finally tell him how I feel and risk possibly losing him forever, or should I remain silent and enjoy the encounters we have when they happen? — Wants It All In Pennsylvania

Dear Wants It All: I think you should finally let this man know how you feel about him. If you do, it will either enable him to tell you he feels the same as you do, or stop you from fantasizing about a relationship that will never happen. If he is satisfied with the status quo, it doesn’t necessarily mean these encounters will end, but at least you will know them for what they are.

Dear Abby: My mother has no faith in me, mostly because I have a disability. It’s not that bad, but she still doesn’t think I can do anything hard. I’m almost 40, she still tells me what to do and criticizes me — including my parenting. I can’t spend a day with her without wanting to take a bat to the walls.

I have a lot of anger inside, and I don’t trust her because she tends to tell her friends or family things I would rather were kept private. What can I do about this? — Irritated In Illinois

Dear Irritated: If this is any comfort, I receive letters with the same complaint as yours from readers who don’t have disabilities. If your children are healthy and doing well and your mother’s criticisms are baseless, my advice is to tune your probably well-meaning but overbearing mother out. Because she discusses things you confide in her with others, quit telling her anything you don’t want broadcast. You might also consider seeing your mother less often. Dear Abby: I would like to propose a new word: “wasband.” Definition: male to whom I am no longer married. Reason: “Ex” seems pejorative. I have used it since the mid-1990s. I began to think of a new term when I was in a social situation with my wasband, his wife and mutual friends. I think “wasband” is a less awkward term. What do you think, Abby? — Lover Of Language In Washington

Dear L.O.L.: I think it is clever. The term is listed in the Urban Dictionary, and because you started using it so early shows you are one smart cookie.