Presence of new girlfriend causes added pain for ex

Dear Abby: My boyfriend of two years, “Kevin,” recently broke up with me. We’ve had problems in the past about my lying or withholding information. I didn’t lie because I’m an awful person. I lied because he had high expectations, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.

Kevin and I are still friends — sometimes with benefits — but he has another woman. I’m heartbroken. When I visited him the other day, I realized that she has practically moved in!

I really want him back. We had talked about a life together, buying a house, taking trips, even getting married. But I’m worried this new woman will get the life that I had been longing for. What advice, if any, can you offer me? — Left Behind In Alabama

Dear Left Behind: I’m sorry to be the carrier of bad news, but it appears your ex-boyfriend is enjoying the benefits of two women, and you are getting your heart broken. It is time for you to move on because she has all but moved in with Kevin.

One has to wonder if she is aware that he has a FWB. (I bet the answer is no.) I have to wonder what kind of a man behaves the way you have described because he is not treating you or this new woman honestly.

In your next relationship, I hope you will realize that you are good enough just as you are, and there is no reason you must live up to

Dear Abby: My boyfriend of 10 years (we own a house together) has just said he feels he should move closer to his ailing mother. She lives about 250 miles away. Is this a thing? Do people do this? He did not ask me to move.

We live less than a mile from my own elderly mother. He knows I wouldn’t leave her. If he goes through with this, I’ll be heartbroken.

We have no mortgage.

I can afford to stay in our house and — then what? Wait for him? I could visit him once in a while, but my life is here. Do you think this could be his oddball way of breaking things off? — Miserable Over This In Michigan

Dear Miserable: This could be your boyfriend’s attempt to end your relationship — or not. He may not have invited you to move with him because he understands how many obligations you have.

It’s time to ask him — calmly — how he views the implications of this move. Does he see it the same way you do? Because you have invested a decade of your life with him, you deserve some straight answers, and the best way to get them is to remain calm and be direct.