Man’s internet addiction makes woman a social media widow

Dear Abby: I realize that social media is a big part of today’s world, but at what point is it an addiction?

My significant other spends hours every day scrolling Facebook and Twitter. I have tried discussing it with him, but it becomes an argument. Now I just sit in the same room with him, silent and waiting until it’s my turn for his attention. How can I get him to realize how isolated I feel and that my presence doesn’t seem to be needed? Should I just accept that he’s an addict and move on? — Offline In Florida

Dear Offline: Something becomes an addiction when it causes a disruption in one’s life. Your significant other isn’t the first person to have been seduced by the internet. He may argue with you because he doesn’t realize how much time he spends glued to his screen.

Try this: Quietly clock the time he’s on FB and Twitter for one week. Afterward, ask him if he realizes how much time he is spending there. He may be shocked when you tell him. That’s the time to express how isolated and unneeded you feel.

Discuss making time for the two of you to get out of the house — without devices — to take a walk or have socially distanced coffee, which may interrupt his habit and allow you both to be fully present. If he isn’t interested, you have to decide if you want to be his lady-in-waiting.

Dear Abby: Is it rude or disrespectful for someone to change their first name? I changed the spelling of my name when I was 12, and my parents legally changed it for me when I was a teen. But I still cringe when I hear it.

Because it’s a common name for someone my age, I’m sure most people won’t understand. I respect the effort my parents put into selecting a name for me and don’t want to hurt any feelings.

Should accept the negative feelings I have toward the name to spare my family’s feelings? — Disconnected Out West

Dear Disconnected: If you feel the need to do it in order to be a more authentic version of yourself, go for it. Assuming you have told your parents how you feel about your first name, I doubt they’ll be any more upset about it than they were when they helped you change its spelling.

A word of caution: The process may take a lot of time because of the pandemic. Also, once you change your name, you will need to change it on all official identifying documents, such as your driver’s license, passport, etc., which can be time-consuming.