Any excuse will do

A. Lincoln, T. Roosevelt — you’re up

Thomas Jefferson. George Washington. Ulysses S. Grant. Francis Scott Key. Andrew Jackson. A Texas Ranger — the police kind, not the ballplayer.

The Emancipation Memorial in Boston. The statue of Frederick Douglass in New York state. A statue of Hiawatha in Wisconsin.

And a statue of an elk. The joke is, we’re not kidding. In Portland, Ore., authorities had to remove a damaged statue of an elk.

Jesus Christ. No, that’s not a profane oath. A statue of Jesus was decapitated and knocked down in July in Miami, Fla., at a Catholic Church there. So add Him to the list of all the statues that have come down in this country in the year of our American discontent.

And the discontented keep getting discontented-er. Remember when some said aloud that these people would be satisfied when all the Confederate statues and memorials were erased from the nation’s historical record? How does that explain their tearing down of memorials to Union soldiers, Frederick Douglass, and the elk?

Protesters in Portland (of course) took to the streets again over the weekend to, well, do damage. There was a holiday on Monday, so they had a good excuse. Or at least a bad one: It was Columbus Day. So organizers went on social media to organize riots to “celebrate” Indigenous Peoples Day of Rage. Again, we’re not kidding. Protesters tore down statues of Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln on Sunday night. They smashed some storefronts, splattered a Lewis and Clark mural with paint, and called for “direct action.”

Oregonlive.com reported that those running the show demanded people not live-stream or otherwise video the riots. It took eight months, but they finally realized that police use social media, too. And a good way to get arrested is by getting filmed committing a crime.

This was well-organized mayhem. Somebody thought to bring a blowtorch to better topple the statues. Somebody brought in large speakers so the crowd could dance with music as the blowtorch cut. And as protesters smashed up the front of the Oregon Historical Society, another somebody unfurled a banner that they made: “Stop honoring racist colonizer murderers.”

All for Columbus Day. Imagine what they’ll do come that all-American holiday, Thanksgiving.