Widower dating again wants to leave past in the past

Dear Abby: I have been a widower for almost five years. I began dating about two years ago.

I met someone very special, “Rose,” a year and a half ago. She’s great, but she does something that drives me crazy. She’s constantly showing me photos of her daughter when she was young.

I never had children and rarely bring up my past because I feel that’s behind me.

I see her daughter two weeks out of the month. She is very spoiled and entitled. I don’t care for her daughter. Does that make me a jerk? I feel those old photos of her daughter are really her memories with her ex, and it would be just as bad if I showed photos of my late wife and asked, “Isn’t she beautiful?” Am I wrong? — Unparent Out West

Dear Unparent: If you plan to continue a relationship with Rose, you are going to have to deal with your feelings about her daughter, some of which may be off base. It is important that you communicate to her the connection you make when you see those photos. Couples counseling may help.

If your description of the girl is accurate, then realize that as long as she’s a minor, she will be a presence in your household. If you and her mother can’t figure out a workable arrangement, you shouldn’t waste any more of Rose’s time or yours.

Dear Abby: “Ron,” the guy my best friend, “Stella,” is seeing, is a manipulator.

A month ago, I told her what I have observed, and it has escalated to the point that I told her I no longer want to be around him. Ron is 40, throws tantrums and threatens to leave when he doesn’t get what he wants.

The last time I saw him was at a dinner Stella hosted. I left early after he threw a tantrum. Ron texted me an “apology” that did not address his behavior. He then tried to guilt-trip me by saying my walking out hurt our friends and that he would stop hanging around because he didn’t want them to be hurt like that.

I haven’t responded to Ron’s “apology” and haven’t seen him since. I have seen

Stella once. Must I accept his apology so everything goes back to how it was, or not see her until he is out of her life? — Not A Fan Of Him

Dear Not A Fan: You don’t “have” to accept Ron’s apology any more than you have to accept any other unappetizing “gift.” From what you have written, she needs a levelheaded friend right now. If Ron acts up again in your presence, leave if he makes you uncomfortable. And while you’re at it, tell Stella the reason and ask — woman to woman — why she tolerates his childish threats.