Mom working swing shift is pressured to stay on the job

Dear Abby: My hubby grew up in a community where all the moms had to work. I grew up in one where most of the moms did not. Our marriage was perfect until we had a baby.

After our first child was born, my hubby made clear that it was unacceptable for me to leave my career or reduce my working hours.

For the last several years, I have chosen to work swing shifts so I can be available for my children during the mornings. But this has taken a toll on my health. I have had to get antidepressant prescriptions to cope.

Recently, I told my husband I would like to work an earlier shift so my health can improve. Again he insists this is unacceptable because of the reduced pay plus the high cost of child care.

He’s a wonderful father to the children, but he makes me feel like a work mule. I don’t want a divorce. I do love him. I’m considering telling him my job is requiring me to switch, which isn’t true. Is it ever acceptable to be dishonest to your spouse? — Work Mule Mama

Dear Mama: Your husband’s priorities appear to be out of whack, but I don’t think you should lie to him. Repeat that the shift you are working is taking a toll on your health and that antidepressants aren’t a cure.

A husband is not supposed to be a dictator. As long as the two of you can make it financially, you should be able to set your own hours. Inform your doctor about everything you have told me and get off the medication. As much as you love your husband, you are not a “mule.” If you continue on this path you could become seriously ill. How will you parent or work then?

Dear Abby: For the past five years, I have been dealing with my aunt, who is convinced that the neighbors are coming into her apartment, hacking her phone, her refrigerator, threatening her, cooking in her kitchen and constantly talking about her. Everyone has tried reasoning with her, but she insists she’s OK and nothing is wrong with her.

She has fixated on these neighbors ever since she had a run-in with them years ago.

They don’t even live there anymore, but she says they do. I’m trying to be kind, patient and understanding with her, but she is making me nuts. Please help. — Alarmed In Indiana

Dear Alarmed: I’ll try. Your aunt’s irrational behavior should be reported to her physician, so she can be evaluated. None of this is rational or normal. She needs a physical and neurological examination by a medical professional who can guide you in what to do because it isn’t going to get better on its own.