Discussing sex life with ex is the final straw for wife

Dear Abby: I have been married for 19 years now. My husband has a platonic relationship with his old girlfriend. She lives in a different state and is married.

They have long chats every day about everything, including our sex life. I confronted him and asked him to end their relationship because knowing that he wants me to do something in bed because his friend does it bothers me a lot. He promised not to talk or chat with her anymore.

A few weeks ago, I discovered that he still chats with her every day, and he changed her name in his contact list to hide his relationship. I feel cheated on and want to end this marriage. Please help. I don’t want to make a wrong step. — Betrayed In Florida

Dear Betrayed: A couple’s sex life is supposed to be private. Your husband and his supposedly platonic “friend” have both betrayed the trust of their spouses. That he would expect you to do something in bed that he knows she is doing is substituting your body for hers, which strikes me as another form of cheating. Obscuring her name in his contact file shows he has no intention of ending their relationship.

You feel cheated on because you have been cheated on. It will continue as long as you allow it. Since you’re afraid of taking a wrong step, start quietly gathering all the financial information you can and talk with several lawyers before deciding which one will best protect your interests and proceed from there.

Dear Abby: Due to covid shutting schools down, my employer is now allowing staff to bring their kids to work if they don’t have alternative child care. I bring my 8-year-old. Most of the kids don’t cause problems.

However, we have a new employee, “Michelle,” whose 4-year-old is so loud, she can be heard all the way across the building! I thought surely Michelle would close her office door, but she seems happy to let her daughter make as much noise as she wants.

Other parents make sure their kids behave and act appropriately. What can I do to let Michelle and my supervisor know that it’s still her responsibility to make sure the kid isn’t creating a distraction? — Tired Of The Noise

Dear Tired Of The Noise: I do not think it would be prudent to talk about this with Michelle, which is sure to make her defensive. You should, however, inform your supervisor that because Michelle’s door is left open, her daughter is creating a distraction. If it has been causing a problem for you, chances are it is the same for others.