Jealousy creates a barrier between biological siblings

Dear Abby: I’m an American man who was adopted as an infant. Several years ago, I found my birth parents. They are not from America. I’m in touch with the entire family, but mainly my birth parents.

My biological siblings are jealous of my success in life make it plain they don’t approve of much that I do. They also make sure I know I’m not really part of the family because we didn’t grow up together. When my sister turned 40 this year, I sent her a card, a Facebook post and a text message. I turned 50 at the same time and heard not a word from her.

My siblings feel the need to trash our country, our government and our way of life. I’m tempted to cut ties with them. I had an amazing set of parents and wonderful siblings growing up. I just wish I had a better relationship with my biological family. I think I’ve had enough. — Disappointed And Excluded

Dear Disappointed: Your family is the family that raised and nurtured you. I, too, am sorry you don’t have a better relationship with these jealous, judgmental people. You are related by blood — nothing more. They do not have the right to criticize you, any more than you have the right to criticize theirs. (And I doubt you would.) Because you are neither respected nor included, you have every right to back off and head in a different, more positive direction.

Frankly, I suspect you will feel better as soon as you do.

Dear Abby: I’m a 26-yearold male in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, who is 18. I love her to the moon and back, but I feel like she only stays with me because I buy her things. She gets upset when I don’t get stuff for her. She says I value my mother and others before her.

She thinks she should take priority before my bills and my mother, who can barely walk. What do I do? — Uneasy In New Jersey

Dear Uneasy: From what you have written, it appears you are involved with an 18-year-old self-involved gold digger who does seem to be with you only because of what you give her. She hasn’t yet learned (1) That a gift should be voluntary and appreciated, rather than extorted, and (2) the way a man treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife.

Here’s my advice: Close your wallet and ditch this “girl.”

Dear Readers: Well, 2020, a year like no other in recent memory, has drawn to a close! I join you tonight in toasting a 2021 that will be less challenging for us all. If you’re celebrating this evening, please take measures to protect your health and the safety of others.

— Love, Abby