Man’s bisexual past gnaws at woman’s sense of trust

Dear Abby: I am a 49-year-old woman and have been in a romantic relationship with a good, caring man for two years. We live together, and he shows me all the time how much he loves me.

When we first started dating, he told me he was bisexual and had relationships with men in the past. He insists I am his true love and he is with only me now, but sometimes I get insecure and wonder if I should take him at his word that he only wants me. Should I trust him? — Wants To Be Sure In Rhode Island

Dear Wants: This man has been upfront with you. Because someone finds members of both genders attractive does not mean the person is incapable of monogamy. He has given you no reason to believe he is untrustworthy, so take steps to deal with your insecurity and take him at his word.

Dear Abby: My son and daughter-in-law were divorced in 2019. Prior to the divorce, my ex-DIL got pregnant by another man and had a little girl.

Do I include the little girl when they come to visit Grandma? She is still my grandchildren’s half-sister. I would feel bad leaving her out. My son is livid that I would even consider including her. Her other grandparents refuse to have anything to do with her. How do I deal with this? — Dilemma In The Midwest

Dear Dilemma: You have a loving heart. I assume all the children live together with their mother. To exclude their half-sister would be logistically difficult and cruel to a child who is blameless. Your son may not like the situation, but it is time for him to grow up. You are the only grandmother that child has ever known, so remain calm, assert your right to self-determination and refuse to allow yourself to be bullied or intimidated.

Dear Abby: I am not in the same income bracket as my family and some of my friends. Also, I married a guy who doesn’t like to socialize because he’s a recovering alcoholic who has hearing problems. Family and friends rarely ask us to join them when they go out, but they call and tell me about the great time they had. It hurts, and I resent them for it. I want to be happy for them and not feel the way I do. —

Different In New York Dear Different: Your husband may have hearing problems, but your relatives appear to be tone deaf. What they are doing is cruel.

Don’t compare your life to theirs. Socialize either with others or by yourselves in places that don’t serve alcohol and aren’t overly noisy. Ask your relatives to join you there — and put the ball in their court.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit www.DearAbby.com