Best friend calls the police after man threatens suicide

Dear Abby: I am a woman in my late 30s. “Tim” and I have been best friends for more than 10 years. Over the years, he has struggled with depression and addiction. I have tried to help him.

A few weeks back, Tim called me crying and said he was planning to end his life. It wasn’t the first time he has spoken this way, but it was the first time he had a plan of action. I was alarmed so, I called the police to do a welfare check. They went to his home, which is across the country from mine, and took him to a psychiatric facility. Now that he’s out, he’s furious with me and says I betrayed him. He said he doesn’t know if we can be friends now.

I feel terrible, like I made a mistake by calling reinforcements, but I was more worried about the consequences of not calling. My family says I should step away from the friendship altogether, but I can’t imagine doing that. — Takes Friendship Seriously

Dear Takes: Your family’s advice to step away seems sensible. You did not make a mistake by calling to see that Tim got help after he told you he had a plan to take his own life. You were trying to help him and prevent a tragedy, and that’s a good thing.

Tim is very ill and, unfortunately, there is little you can do to fix him. If you know his family, inform them about what has been going on. Because he doesn’t know if he can continue being friends, leave it up to him to decide.

Dear Abby: My brother’s wife is pregnant, and there is talk about their moving to the state where her family lives. There are only three people in her family (one is elderly and two others work full time) who may provide her with support. On the other hand, there are 10 of us here who could help them if they stay.

My brother would move to the state where her family resides only in order to appease her. I feel we can provide them with more love and support than her family. What can I do to show them that living near us is the best decision? — Near Is Better

Dear Near: I’m sure you mean well, but do not make the mistake of trying to “sell” your sister-in-law on staying. It appears her mind is made up. If she feels she would be more comfortable with her own family as she approaches this milestone, not much you can say will dissuade her. Of course, nothing prevents you from telling your brother how you feel, if you haven’t already.

You might also suggest they consider renting for a year rather than buying a home, to see how they like it. That way, once the baby arrives and reality hits, she may realize she won’t have the support she may need, and they may decide to return.