To mask — or not to mask

So … my husband doesn’t want to go walking around in the nude.

I’m willing to do so — but I have mixed feelings concerning it.

Wait, what did y’all think I was talking about? I’m referring to mask-wearing. Dre has been adamant about not giving up the masks, despite being fully vaccinated.

He could have been featured in Sarah Maslin Nir’s recent New York Times story, “They’re Vaccinated and Keeping Their Masks On, Maybe Forever.”

The story quotes several people who, for varying reasons, are not ready to unmask, “even as a combination of evolving public health recommendations and pandemic fatigue lead more Americans to toss the masks they’ve worn for more than a year … ”

The pandemic fatigue is understandable, especially when it comes to being masked. Looking like a small-time bandit/perpetual masquerade-ball reject — and breathing like Darth Vader — as one attempts to go about one’s daily routine has been a notable inconvenience, no matter how lifesaving the action might be and no matter how totally cute and hip many of these masks have been. Being told “no shirt, no shoes, no mask, no service” at public establishments — those that were able to remain open — has been a seemingly endless bummer. And cloth masks, unfortunately, can be a lot like panties and slips: They ride up and droop. Even the fashionable, mask-alternative face shields for ladies (the see-through welder’s shields complete with partial glasses frames) have proved they can be funless … especially for those of us who forget we’re wearing the dang things, try to take a sip of a drink and feel as foolish as those who attempt to walk through a glass door.

Those inconveniences made me happy to hear that vaccinated folks such as myself could go mask-nude in most cases. I’ve felt like a free bird during a few recent outings in which I had a mask with me, but not on me. It was nice to be able to breathe in and not suffer a double-nostril mask wedgie. (By the way, we have those plastic, as-seen-on-TV under-the-mask cages that are supposed to keep the mask away from the nose and mouth; at least for me, they haven’t eliminated the discomfort.)

But Dre has voiced his vows to cover up until the cows and their calves came home. The pandemic simply isn’t over enough for him. “How do the experts know we’re safe just because we’ve had the shot?” he’s wondered aloud. Gah,

and that’s where my mixed attitude about going mask-nude come in. Please, God, let there not be some variant that pops up and tells the Pfizer, Moderna and Johnson & Johnson vaccines to go jump.

Meanwhile, I’m a bit concerned that Dre’s decision not to ever go mask-nude could attract haters.

“Last year, protesters staged rallies against official requirements to wear masks, built pyres [!] to burn them … and touched off wild screaming matches when confronted about not wearing them inside supermarkets,” Nir writes. “But as more Americans become vaccinated and virus restrictions loosen, masks are at the center of a second round in the country’s culture brawl. This time, people who choose to continue to cover their faces have become targets of public ire.”

The Continued Maskers are getting so much flak, according to Nir’s story, that retired national TV newsman Dan Rather Tweeted his confusion: “Why should people care if someone wants to wear a mask outside?”

Wondering the same here. Anti- maskers have carped about personal rights being violated when asked to wear a mask. Now that mask nudity is being allowed, why ya mad at somebody who still chooses to cover up? Do you feel as though the maskers are issuing a silent rebuke to your personal freedom, making you want to scream, “Give me mask liberty/nudity, or give me death” and hurl abuse at those you see as oppressors?

C’mon. If nothing else, Mask Nudes, you can calm yourselves down by regarding Continued Maskers in the same light as those who’d rather wear a swimsuit than go to a nude beach: They could be covering up stuff you’d rather not see (such as a bad case of 5 o’clock shadow … on a menopausal woman); hear (a fit of coughing, sneezing or yawning); or be downwind of (the aforementioned coughing/sneezing/yawning … or morning breath).

Granted, the headlines have shown that maskers have not been innocent during this pandemic; some of them have been just as aggressive and started just as many knockdown, drag-out fights as anti-maskers throughout all this health war-turned culture war. Now that the rules have eased, I implore all to live and let live.

And, to remember that we haven’t quite reached the end of the book on covid-19. And to also remember that we’re still, well, all in this together.