Welcome, y’all

Have you tried barbecue?

Ajournalist covering anything about the military will have to consult a military-toEnglish guide on the translation(s). The Air Force, for example, recently held a “scoping meeting” in Fort Smith. After looking around the web for a few minutes, we think we’ve found that “scoping meeting” means “meeting” in the real world. Just as “sock, 1 each, green in color” means “green sock.”

The military doesn’t do anything the easy way.

This was the lede in the press release about this latest program, and the meeting about it: “The Department of the Air

Force (DAF) is proposing an action to establish a permanent Foreign Military Sales (FMS) Pilot Training Center (PTC) at Ebbing Air National Guard Base (ANGB), Arkansas. The FMS PTC would initially provide beddown of up to 36 F-35 aircraft. ...”

We’re not joking.

But it may be too easy to make fun. These people have other duties, such as standing on the wall for the rest of us. They can’t be poets, too.

We were proud as punch to read Monica Brich’s story in the paper over the weekend: The Air Force is proposing to place more aircraft in Fort Smith, permanently, in that pilot training center mentioned above. Many of them from the Singapore Air Force.

And we’re proud not just because this will mean more stuff for the base there, but because the article said folks showed up at the meeting to ask how best they can welcome Singaporeans. How neighborly.

Oh sure, some asked about the added noise. But air bases tend to have a lot of that. And those kind of questions you’d expect. But to go out of your way on a snowy/icy day to ask how best welcome a foreign friend/ customer/new neighbor is telling.

Ebbing was selected last year as the Air Force’s preferred location for that pilot training center for Singapore and other countries. A spokesman for the Air Force said the area can expect upwards of 400 military and civilian types for the new center, plus their dependents. Later, other countries such as Poland and Finland may send people.

Said the mayor of Fort Smith, George McGill: “We appreciate the information you are providing to the community, and we look forward to meeting everyone and greeting everyone. Our schools are prepared to meet your students and your children when they arrive, as well.”

This is what is meant by Southern hospitality.

A note to the new folks coming in, should the Air Force make this official one day: Arkansas is not just an historic state, but a histrionic one, too. You’ll need to call the Hogs and get a red sweater. You can’t overdo it.

Remember that barbecue is a food group, “the Sonic drive-through” is a perfectly acceptable answer when you ask your teenager where he’s been for the last three hours, and Going to The Walmart is generic for “shopping.”

Another thing: There are no such thing as snipe hunts. Or pipe stretchers. Or left-handed paintbrushes. You need a sense of humor in these environs. So do we all. Welcome. And thank you.