Taking time off and how to get better at it

This is so “you.” Instead of using every second of your allotted vacation time, you plan to take the absolute minimum required to please your family, your partner and your labradoodle. Even when you are off, your email will be on, as will your cellphone and your laptop, not to mention the computer chip you’ve allowed your manager to implant in your brain, so you can be reached wherever you — or your mind — wander.

Oh, wait. This isn’t you at all.

The real you has been downloading travel articles for the last two years. You know everything there is to know about every sun-kissed destination and talcum-powder beach. As for all the airline miles you’ve collected during the pandemic while making mega-purchases of toilet paper, you’ve done enough calculations on how best to use them to win a Nobel Prize in mathematics.

Even if your vacay will be conducted in your own backyard, you’ve dusted off your mental suitcases and you’re ready to take off — take off work, at least. But the sad truth is that you probably won’t, not in any meaningful way.

According to “Why Americans Are Bad at Taking Time Off, and How to Get Better at It,” a recent article by Karla L. Miller in The Washington Post, “really getting away from work is a challenge for many U.S. employees.”

Of course, it’s the U.S employers who deserve most of the blame, which has to be shared with our wonderful advanced technology, which “lets us work anywhere, anytime, making it hard to disconnect even when we’re supposed to.”

It’s not exactly clear why so many employees feel they have to stay connected to their jobs. Miller points a finger at the fact that, unlike every other industrialized nation, “the United States has no mandatory paid vacation or holiday leave.” (Which, BTW, is an excellent excuse when your boss finds you daydreaming at your desk. “Gosh, I’m sorry,” you say. “I thought this was my mandatory paid vacation.”)

If you are having trouble disconnecting, Miller’s article does have some good advice on how to cut the cord. Good advice is something you’ll never find in any article of mine — no need to thank me — but here are a few eye-opening insights to speed you on your getaway.

No. 1: Work inertia keeps you rolling past quitting time.

Whether it’s the end of a workday or the first day of a two-week vacation, if you want to keep the workflow from drowning you, you need an “off-ramp.” This is most likely to be an addition to your email signature explaining exactly when you will be away from your desk and unavailable. Be as specific as possible.

“If you want a response from me,” you might write, a week before leaving for vacation, “contact me before 5 p.m. on Friday.”

To which you should add, “If you want a stupid response that doesn’t makes any sense at all, contact me before 5 p.m. on Wednesday. If you want an intelligent, thoughtful response, better not contact me at all.”

No. 2: No one — including you — respects your boundaries.

“Your out- of- office autoresponder should state clearly that you will be unavailable after (date), and who the next point of contact is in your absence.” This is a good plan, but don’t feel it is necessary to let your point of contact know that you have appointed them to take your place.

The avalanche of hysterical callers and frantic emailers that will surely follow your departure will be a wonderful surprise to the lucky individual — who will definitely show appreciation when you return, tan and rested, just in time to take credit for their hard work.

No. 3: “No one can handle this but me.”

No question, no one is better at your job than you, but it is still necessary to “set your substitutes up to succeed.” Let them know which balls they can drop, and what excuses to use when they do. Provide a list of the best people to blame when projects go south and managers go sour. Or, let them flounder and fumble in the face of all the disasters that are about to come their way. Their failures will only make you look better when you return.

No. 4: “But I’m the boss.”

As Miller concludes, “deputize someone to be your gatekeeper who understands your priorities, will defend your boundaries, and knows how to reach you in an emergency.”

I nominate your labradoodle.