Phone, internet deal of a lifetime comes with lots of kinks

I just got the phone and internet deal of a lifetime: $5 a month for internet service, $15 a month for cell. But first I embarked on a tortuous journey through the Xfinity labyrinth.

Like a character in Kafka’s “The Castle,” I encountered nothing but friendly people, eager to speed me on my way while bogging me down in a bureaucratic slurry. For example, I had to call back after the first lengthy chat, and was told that an agent would call me in seven to 10 hours, which turned into 24. The second time, I chatted with an agent for 44 minutes just to correct the typo I’d made in my address and to find out if I were eligible for their free phone deal. When I finally got through to a great-sounding guy who said he would handle everything, I was transferred again and had to start over.

Next I employed my favorite weapon: I said I was canceling. That’s when I got an immediate transfer to the elite “Xfinity Solutions Center,” and a visit from a technician. He got me on the internet with Xfinity, but charged me $100. (Xfinity had told me they would waive the fee.) But I’m thrilled to be getting a download speed of 237 megabits per second. With AT&T, I was only getting 29 Mbps.

On the other hand, I still don’t have the phone service I ordered. Xfinity swore they had no record of it. So I whipped out the chat transcript and read it to them in a convincing manner. That led to another call transfer, only to start over once more. Finally, I got an agent from Xfinity’s parent company, Comcast, who said she’d set everything straight.

Here’s the rub: To get their cheap phone service, which is offered by Verizon through Xfinity, I need an iPhone, a Samsung Galaxy or a Google Pixel phone. Several agents offered me a Google Pixel 6a for $200 — $79 less than Google charges, and I accepted every time. It was supposed to arrive in two days. Seventeen days later, it’s still not

here.

My local Xfinity store said I shouldn’t have been charged for the Pixel because I was bringing my number over from another service. “Return it if you get it,” the guy said. But even if I never get the phone or Xfinity’s cell service and wind up with two cell phone bills, I’m saving $35 a month. That’s if you don’t count the $200 I paid for a nonexistent phone.

Readers, I know your stories are way worse. You’ve told me some horror tales, especially from CenturyTel. You have my sympathies.

QUICK CALL

Do you often need to call someone quickly? Consider adding the “Direct Dial” widget to your Android home screen. When you press it, it dials the number automatically.

To set up direct dialing on your Android phone, press on a free space on your home screen. If you have no free space, drag some icons together to put them in a single folder, or move them to the next page. Next, press and hold a finger on your free space and choose “Widgets.” When a list comes up, keep scrolling until you see “Direct Dial.” Drag it over to the home screen, and you’ll get an option to select a contact whose icon will appear there. To add more, clear up more space, then repeat the process.

For iPhones, I suggest asking Siri to place the call. Or use “Favorites” in the phone app.

THE PERFECT AI COVER LETTER

I was highly skeptical that an artificial intelligence service could write a better cover letter than I could. But I have to admit that the website “Cover Letter CoPilot, at coverlettercopilot.ai, did a fantastic job.

To test it, I applied for my own job by filling in the job requirements. I didn’t bother uploading a resume, so the robot assumed I had no paid experience. But the result was so competent, so witty and fun, it would have pushed me to hire the person if I had been an employer. On the con side, I wasn’t impressed with the letter created for a ZDnet blogger.

THE ULTIMATE SSD

Smaller than a cell phone, the Apricorn Aegis NVX external SSD will self destruct if someone tries to hack it by typing repeatedly on its keyboard in an attempt to unlock the thing. It’s $ 339 for 500 gigabytes, or $739 for two terabytes. The company sells a similarly James Bond-y flash drive with 32 gigabytes for $100.

SNEAKER COMPUTER

This summer, you can get a desktop computer that looks like a giant sneaker.

The Cooler Master Sneaker X Custom PC comes as a kit for $ 1,300. That means buying your own CPU, motherboard, memory, storage and graphics card. But this thing is so cool-looking, it might be worth it for the techie in your family. Alternatively, you can get one fully assembled sometime this summer for $5,999.

INTERNUT

“When technology can read minds, how will we protect our privacy?” Search those words to find out the latest trends in neurotech. In the next ten years, Meta, Microsoft, Snap and Apple will embed brain sensors in earbuds, headphones, headbands and wearable tattoos, according to law professor Nita Farahany who gave a great TED talk. Find it at ted.com.