Boyfriend seems content with romance’s status quo

Dear Abby: I’m 22 and have been dating a 55-yearold man I’ll call “Gerald” for a year now. Because of the difference in our ages, I have been trying to find things for us to do together so our relationship can be more than just sex. I really love Gerald and want it to work, but how do I make it work when he won’t meet me halfway?

We really don’t have any reasons to fight except for his jealous ex-wife of 11 years. How do I try to keep this relationship? Everything I suggest Gerald turns down. Is it because deep down he doesn’t want to be in this relationship? Or that he doesn’t think it will go far? — Challenged In Pennsylvania appears your “silver fox” is happy with the relationship just as it is. That’s the reason he shoots down your suggestions for ways to expand it beyond the bedroom. You can’t make a relationship work all by yourself. Gerald has to be willing to participate. If his reaction to everything you suggest is opposition, it may be time to move on and find someone with whom you have more in common.

Dear Abby: I was invited to my nephew’s wedding out of state and accepted the invitation. It’s a four-hour drive. My son wasn’t interested in attending, and my boyfriend wasn’t sure he could attend due to work travel. The mother of the bride informed me that she had decided to “put” an elderly relative in my room with me, claiming they were now out of rooms. (She’s known to be miserly and dishonest.)

There was no offer to share costs, and it was assumed that I’d transport, dress and monitor the relative. I ended up declining the invitation, and I regret not being at my nephew’s wedding. My boyfriend was able to attend but, by then, I couldn’t make an appropriate room arrangement. — Skipped It In The East

Dear Skipped It: Just this: Because you felt the mother of the bride should have asked your permission rather than “tell” you her plan was for you to babysit the relative, you were within your rights to refuse to do anything that made you uncomfortable.

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