Elderly woman defends her right to drink
Dear Amy: I’m 88 years old. I live alone and am independent.
Can family members restrict an 88-year-old widowed mother’s wine consumption, just because a doctor says it might cause a liver problem some day?
I have never had a car accident. I prefer not to drive but I do drive to pick up groceries. — Upset
Dear Upset: You have the legal right to harm yourself with alcohol use, although dying of liver disease is exceptionally painful.
You don’t say how your family members know how much wine you consume, or how they might be able to actively restrict the amount.
My take is that — unless your family members are exceptionally controlling — your drinking has caused problems for them. I’m going to assume that they are not overly controlling, because you live alone and still drive. (If they were overly controlling, they would try to control many other aspects of your life, other than just your drinking.)
I assume that they are worried about your health and safety.
In addition to possible liver damage, alcohol use actually disrupts a person’s sleep patterns. It is a depressant. Alcohol could interact with medication you are taking. Alcohol use also inhibits your balance and significantly increases your risk of falling.
Generally, when people get defensive about their drinking, it is because they are pushing back against the possibility of admitting to having a problem.
If your kids asked me, I’d suggest that they attend Al-anon meetings (al-anon.org) as a way to manage their stress over your drinking. Perhaps you could pass this suggestion along to them.
Dear Amy: “Crystalized” made a joke when a guest tipped over her good crystal: “You broke it, you buy it! Just kidding.” Then her guests went crazy!
Amy, she was joking. I am so sick of people who can’t take a joke!
I thought it was hilarious. — Funny
Dear Funny: “Crystalized’s” guests took her comment as a jumping-off point for a lively discussion regarding who should pay for breakage. This seemed to offend “Crystalized,” who stated that she was “horrified by their comments.” She seemed the overly sensitive one, to me.