Wife says COVID means NO contact

Dear Amy: My wife is afraid to touch me since the pandemic started.

I even took the COVID test and the antibodies test to reassure her. I have tested negative both times.

Is this normal?— Lonely Husband

Dear Lonely: Are you sure this is about COVID? I ask because, just as the pandemic has turned all of our lives upside down, it has also offered a rationale for simply refusing to do things you don’t want to do.

If you and your wife have (basically) formed a “germ pod” together with both of you in the same household and maintaining sound hygiene, both limiting outside interaction, and both wearing masks and social distancing while you are out, then I would say that her behavior is NOT normal. It isn’t rational, anyway.

For some people, the pandemic has triggered extreme anxieties and obsessions. Fortunately, therapeutic help is readily available by phone or video chat.

I think it is also obvious— and necessary— for you to do some selfreflection.

Dear Amy: I love my two nieces. I lavished them with attention during their childhood. My sister (their mother), passed away and I kept in touch.

My nieces are now adults (late-20s/early 30s) and I continued to stay in touch, however, they have made no effort to reciprocate.

In fact, when I advised one niece that Iwas hurt that she didn’t returnmy call, she explained that younger people just say that and it doesn’t really mean that they’ll call later.

Additionally, she suggested that I should contact her in advance so she could “block out some time to talk.”

I have determined that I will no longer putmyself out for them. Your advice?— Agonized Aunt

Dear Aunt: Yes, it is time for you to back away a little bit.

It is pretty typical for adults at this stage of life to be wrapped up in building their own lives.

Many people in your nieces’ age group seem to treat talking on the phone as an unwelcome intrusion. Millennials have told me that they sometimes have a kneejerk reaction when they see a call coming in.

If you give them more space, they may instinctively drawa little closer.