Orlando author shares 257 ‘dumb’ pandemic stories in new book
Now that the worst of the COVID-19 pandemic is safely behind us, one Orlando author found a way to chronicle and catalog some of the “dumbest” stories from that odd time, for humor's sake.
Professor Leonard Birdsong, who taught at Barry Law in Orlando for 20 years, has written 17 books about the “dumbest criminals” he's read about in news articles, many of which have appeared on his blog. His latest book, “257 Dumbest Pandemic Stories,” chronicles weird and whacky tales that emerged from a time of isolation and particularly wild headlines.
“Brian Baer, 34 years old, lost his cool when a man in St. Pete Beach called him a bad name. The bad name was ‘Drew Carey,'” Birdsong recited from the book. “That enraged the fellow because he didn't like the comic. Mr. Baer punched Casey Simons in the face outside of Jimmy B's Beach Bar. It's a good guess that alcohol was involved in this.”
Other stories worth a chuckle had less malice involved.
“A Polk County Sheriff 's deputy checked out a report of an alligator in a shed. It turned out the gator was a floatie,” Birdsong said. “A strip club in Las Vegas closed because of the pandemic, and they posted a sign on the door reading, ‘Sorry, we're clothed.'”
During a time when many people began hoarding toilet paper and other essential supplies, one Australian woman found she got more rolls than she bargained for.
“A woman in Australia accidentally ordered a 12-year supply of toilet paper. Haidee Janetzki bought 2,304 rolls of toilet paper online,” Birdsong said. “She normally ordered 48 rolls every three months, but she mistakenly ordered 48 boxes, each containing 48 rolls. She and her husband ended up creating a toilet paper castle out of all the boxes.”
According to a USA Today article about the TP sales fluke that cost thousands of dollars, the Janetzkis sold their leftover rolls for the same price they purchased them to raise funds for their daughter's school.
Birdsong, 78, has had a long and storied career that included time spent in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas working for the U.S. Department of State and working as a federal prosecutor in Washington, D.C.
“When I started teaching criminal law, I used to tell my students, ‘If you want to find out about criminal law, you should read the newspaper every day,'” he said. “I loved reading newspapers. I
looked around and started to find some crazy things in the newspapers. I kept them and started Birdsong’s Law Blog.”
While the professor emeritus has enjoyed bringing humor to the masses through his books on dumb criminals, he thinks this collection of pandemic stories may mark his final chapter as an author.
“I had fun putting together this number of stories for humor. I’ve had enough now; I think this might be my last book,” Birdsong said. “They’re humor books because we need humor.” “257 Dumbest Pandemic
Stories:” Available on Amazon, listed at $7.99 for the paperback or $3.99 for the Kindle edition. For more information, visit leonardbirdsong.com.