Wanting shoe policy at store doesn’t make worker a heel

Dear Miss Manners: I work in a large bookstore. We provide a limited number of chairs, which customers may use to examine their books before, one hopes, buying them.

It is not uncommon for our customers to remove their shoes while they relax in these chairs. I hope I don’t have to explain why this disturbs me, my co-workers and, I assume, other customers.

Unfortunately, my employer (that is, the chain, not the management of my store) has what they deem a “Just Say Yes!” philosophy of customer service, and will not be amenable to something as simple as a “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” sign.

But if I can find a polite but clever and inoffensive way of suggesting that people keep their shoes on, I do not have much fear of retribution from my immediate supervisors. Anything I say can’t reference store policy, or the like. What would you suggest saying?

Gentle reader: “Watch out for staples and paper clips.”

Dear Miss Manners: In our group of friends, we have two guys that we assume are dating but who aren’t confirming anything, even though their affection toward each other is obvious.

Is it rude if we ask them about their relationship??

Gentle reader: Why do you need to know? Especially as they do not feel the need to tell you? At best, anticipating other people’s announcements deprives them of the pleasure of doing so themselves. At worst, wrong guesses cause embarrassment.

Therefore, Miss Manners bans all such questions, including “Are you pregnant?” “Did you get into your first-choice college?” “When are you two getting married?” and “Haven’t you found a job yet?” She asks you to be patient; your friends will either tell you, or they will not.

Dear Miss Manners: When I took my 5-year-old to the pediatrician for a physical, the child was playing a video game on my phone while waiting for the doctor.

The doctor knocked, came in, said “Hi” with a smile. He looked at my kid and while saying, “Hi, how are you doing?” he took the phone from my kid’s hands without asking.

I was offended. I do not think this is appropriate to do to anyone, not even a child. He should have said: “Hey, buddy, we need to pay attention now.”

I did not say anything because I don’t want to strain the patient-doctor relationship. Still, I want to point this out to him. My child should not get used to adults being disrespectful toward him.

How should I have communicated my discomfort to the doctor about his behavior without making the next visit awkward?

Gentle reader: It has been Miss Manners’ experience that professionals who spend time around children understand their desire to be treated like adults, but your pediatrician seems instead to have modeled his own manners on those of a child.

Very well. Ask the doctor for the phone, and then show it to your child in front of the pediatrician, saying, “Dylan, the doctor would appreciate it if you would put your phone away.”

A good pediatrician will recognize a parent modeling good behavior. Dylan, who did nothing wrong, will be irritated, but you can explain it to him in the car on the way home.

Dear Miss Manners: When the party for my seventh birthday was planned, my mother cautioned me that since I had not invited everyone in my class, I was not to discuss the party at school. I could see the sense of this.

Now that I’m an adult, however, two different friends have regaled me with plans for future events with no invitation offered.

I have two questions — is my mother’s instruction now outdated? And how should I behave if this happens again?

Gentle reader: Your mother’s instruction is certainly not outdated — nor is the impeccable child-rearing she did. Miss Manners commends you both.

If your friends tell you about events to which you are not invited, you may say, “That sounds like fun. I hope your guests enjoy it.”

Sadly, this lesson has been lost on the generation that posts their parties on social media and then wonders why their friends get insulted. Clearly they do not have mothers as wise as yours. To send a question to the Miss Manners team of Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, go to missman

ners.com or write them c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.