This gentleman prefers women’s wear

Dear Amy: I’ve been divorced for several years. I have dated a few gals, but nothing serious ... until recently. A lady friend and I are seeing more of each other, but, in old-fashioned terms, “taking it slow.”

Regardless, I’m sure we’ll soon end up being intimate.

For about the past 20 years or so, I’ve worn ladies’ underwear, mostly panties and camisoles, but, on occasion, bras and nighties.

I’m not a cross-dresser in that I don’t wear any outer women’s wear, don’t wear makeup, have never worn heels, or otherwise had an interest in passing as a female.

I just find lingerie to be more comfortable, a secret thrill, and, quite honestly, fun. My ex-wife knew of it and, while not thrilled, didn’t have a problem with it as long as I didn’t wear hers.

I want to be honest with my friend, but don’t want to scare her away. Nor do I wish to hide this part of me or wear boring, uncomfortable men’s undies. What are your thoughts on when and how I should tell her?

Dear Crossing: I can completely understand how wearing women’s panties might be more comfortable for you, but I fail to see how wearing a bra could be a matter of comfort. Most women I know can hardly stand wearing them. This practice is honestly something you just enjoy and find fulfilling. You don’t need any reason other than this to justify your choice.

One of the most intimate things you can do is to talk about your sexuality, sexual preferences, practices and turn-ons before you become sexually involved.

You should not wait to surprise this person in the bedroom, but you should disclose this — just as you have here — forthrightly and honestly. She may need to think about this and ask questions. I think there is a high likelihood that she will adjust to the idea and accept it, but you should give her the opportunity in advance.

Dear Amy: “Cringing Bride” described her mother as bigoted toward her fiancee, who is from another ethnic group from her. Thank you for bluntly suggesting elopement as one way to cope with this sort of wedding stress.

Dear No Regrets: Elopement is one way for a couple to maintain control over their own wedding.