Ole Miss should thank escort service
Into the glorious annals of Ole Miss football names like Manning and Conerly, we can now add one more.
Jade. Or maybe it was Alexis or Chastity.
For today’s purposes, let’s just call her Nicki.
Whoever she is, Mississippi fans owe her a big wet kiss (though if she’s like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman,” she won’t kiss on the mouth).
Nicki finally did what NCAA investigators, Laremy Tunsil’s gas mask and common sense could not do. She pried the Rebels’ cold, dead fingers off their con-man coach.
University officials were obviously never going to do it. They’d stood by Hugh Freeze despite being handed enough firing ammunition to bring down Godzilla.
That’s what happens when a coach hauls in miraculous recruiting classes, goes to four bowl games in his first four years and beats Nicki Saban twice.
You rationalize NCAA investigations with 21 charges. Nothing had been proven as of Thursday, but there was enough scandalous smoke in Oxford to make Barry Switzer choke.
While Ole Miss officials held their breath and hoped it would go away, Freeze piously denied any wrongdoing.
One recruit asked Freeze about the allegations. Enjoy this response:
“Well, Coach Freeze told me when you’re that big and out there with faith in Christ, he’s like, ‘What do you expect? Jesus got nailed to the cross.’ ”
Jesus could not be reached for comment.
I’m pretty sure, however, he would never have blamed his problems on Houston Nutt.
Freeze did, and it led to his ultimate undoing.
Whether it’s karma or coincidence, Nutt was run out of Arkansas 10 years ago and replaced by Bobby Petrino.
Four years later, Petrino took a joyride on a motorcycle with a much younger woman (not his wife). They ran off the road and their affair was exposed, but not before a bangedup Petrino made an everlasting fool of himself.
Moral of the story: If you’re going to be immoral, have a graduate assistant COMMENTARY drive the motorcycle. Either that, or don’t ever succeed Houston Nutt.
Nutt filed a civil lawsuit last week alleging that Freeze was smearing him after Freeze and Ole Miss refused to apologize for saying the NCAA infractions solely took place during Nutt's watch.
Nutt’s lawyer dug up phone records seeking to prove Freeze was slamming Nutt during interviews with reporters during a two-week period and found an interesting one to a 313 area-code number.
It was an escort service. Freeze was stupid enough to call a hooker on a university-issued phone? Talk about a Nutt job. You’ve got to feel sorry for Freeze’s wife and kids, the ones he proudly showcases on his Twitter page.
It’s hard to feel any sympathy for Freeze. Especially since he initially said the phone call was a wrong number he’d inadvertently dialed.
And that he had nothing to hide. And that he can’t help it if so many five-star recruits mysteriously fall in love with Oxford. And that Jesus also hung around with prostitutes.
“Once we looked into the rest of the phone records, we found a pattern,” athletics director Ross Bjork told ESPN. “It was troubling.”
After whistling past the NCAA graveyard for years, it’s good to know Ole Miss officials can be troubled by something besides losing the SEC West.
If not for Nicki, they would have stuck with Freeze until the program was a complete joke. Now the Rebels can at least start thinking about the long road back to being a respectable football citizen.
The search for a new leader can begin. (Please, guys, hang up if Art Briles calls.)
And as an undeserved bonus, Ole Miss doesn’t even have to pay off Freeze’s contract, which had about $12 million left on it.
So whoever she is, Nicki should go down as one of the great contributors to Ole Miss football.
As for her client, even his zaniest defenders must now admit Hugh Freeze really was Hugh Sleaze.