Spouse wonders how to improve communication

Dear Amy: Lately, when my wife asks questions, she is really dissatisfied with the answers.

Can you suggest a book I could read that would help me listen better to her questions, and provide shorter, on-point answers without extra or extraneous exposition?

Communicating with her using the speech patterns that I have always used will not work, as she doesn’t accept that anymore. this dynamic. He believes that each person needs the “three A’s” to communicate well: Acknowledgment, appreciation, and acceptance. This means that you could start by “acknowledging” your wife’s position, even if you think it’s wrong: “I can see that you disagree with me because your experience has been different than mine.”

Another very popular book that has successfully ignited lots of thoughtful conversation between the generations in my giant family is “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts,” by Gary Chapman (2015, Northfield Publications). This book will help you to reframe your own perceptions of how you and your wife communicate.

Communication is not only through words, but through behavior. Changing some of your nonverbal communication (and understanding hers) may offer you a useful perspective and deeper understanding of why you are in a rough patch.

I also need to add that it is not always necessary to have your point of view validated. If your wife asks a question and you answer it respectfully and to the best of your ability, then she should be free to accept or reject your answer, without you feeling that you have somehow “lost” a round in the communication sweepstakes.