Miss Manners: “Ladies first” is not always required.

Dear Miss Manners: I’ve always ridden buses and subways to work and make a conscientious effort to make my seat available for the elderly, for pregnant women, for people with obvious disabilities and for small children.

If I see only young, healthy people, I keep my seat — which I, frankly, enjoy, as I am often fairly tired and enjoy the reading time.

My boss told me that when he’s on a bus, he glares at men who are seated whenever ladies are standing — even young, healthy women.

I was embarrassed to admit he might be glaring at me in those situations.

Have I been incorrect to keep a seat as long as there is any woman standing?

I certainly never refuse a seat when anyone asks, but now I wonder whether I’m deserving of his glare for not insisting a woman take the seat. Gentle reader: How fierce is his glare? Does it work? Do countless male riders jump to their feet?

At best, this is a questionable technique.

And your boss seems to have missed the evolution of the precedence system.

We have indeed moved from a strict “ladies first” order to that based on age and need, which Miss Manners is pleased to note you have faithfully observed.

She worries that your well-meaning but anachronistic boss will be in for quite a shock when an equally well-meaning but up-to-date lady offers him her seat because he is her senior. To send a question to the Miss Manners team of Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, go to missmann

ers.com or write them c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.