Cosmetic surgery plans are met with departure plan

Dear Amy: What should I do if my significant other isn't supportive of surgical/cosmetic changes that I want to make to my body?

I've flat-out asked him how he would feel if I got lip injections — just to test the waters. I want other, more extreme procedures as well.

He told me that if I had something like that done, he would leave me.

I have been in a relationship with this man for four years, so it kind of hurts my feelings that he would just drop all that simply because I wanted to make a change to my body so that I will not feel as insecure in it.

He says it would make him feel that I'm not who he thought I was and that it's vain to do these things.

Do you think his feelings are justified?

Dear Curious: I'm not sure why you are asking me about your boyfriend's feelings.

He has given you his honest opinion, and he (and I) shouldn't have to justify his feelings.

The downside of your choice to "test the waters" in this way is that you don't seem to have prepared yourself for the answer. It is your body. You shouldn't feel compelled to discuss your choice with anyone in advance.

I'm not a fan of cosmetic procedures — certainly not "extreme" ones — but if someone I loved wanted to do this, and if they could afford it and it didn't harm their health, I'd tell them to have at it.

I suggest that you do what you want to do.

Don't ask your boyfriend to weigh in beforehand, and don't ask for his opinion or approval afterward. Dear Amy: "Waiting for Sorry" reported her history of mental illness, and her need for her mother to acknowledge it.

Thank you for trying to reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness.

The stigma is what keeps many people from acknowledging this reality.

Dear Bipolar: Every time someone talks openly about having a mental illness, it helps to reduce the stigma. We're getting there.