The horror, the horror ...
In today’s Calendar, find out which haunted houses at Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights will leave you with the willies. Plus, comedian Brian Regan talks ahead of his Orlando performance, and read reviews of “Kingsman: The Golden Circle,” “The LEGO Ninjago Movie” and more.
On the first evening of this year’s Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios, I came face-to-face with this shocker: I have mellowed.
The first 10 times or so that I went to the event, I walked around hunched over, afraid of things bumping and lurking in the dark. I had skillfully avoided HHN for years until one fall I was called a wuss … and I took a theme-parks reporting job that required my attendance.
Even after I wrapped my head around the blood, guts and makebelieve factor of it all, my nervous system was not a willing participant. Until this year, when I got my meh on, and that was really for no known reason beyond repetition. Or post-hurricane stress disorder has me in a more que-sera HHN place.
It’s not because the event is less intense or less gory or less of a head game. I mean, they have armed roaming clowns with chain saws this year. Throw in public speaking and a missing smartphone and you’re living a
modern nightmare.
OK, HHN isn’t my happy place yet, but I found something to like, if not love, about every house and scare zone. Shoot, I was even happy to be startled a couple of times.
Here are highlights, with the aim of not being much of a spoiler, courtesy of my new HHN attitude:
An original haunted house that should stick with me is Scarecrow: The Reaping. Universal grew corn for this one, and while agriculture doesn’t sound scary, the stalks do add to the maze’s harrowing claustrophobic environment. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry during the dark stretches near the end. Also of note: There’s no blood in this house. (Meanwhile, we were told all the scare actors were 6-foot-2 or taller, but it seemed like some folks could just stand on a box behind the wall, right?)
Details within the houses sometimes go unnoticed in the shadows, but they shine through in The Shining house, a remarkable recreation of the 1980 movie. Bonus points for the hedge maze, which I found irresistible to the touch.
I admired the asylum-style entrance of the American Horror Story house, but even it must bow down to the impressive in-your-face spooky riverboat at Dead Waters. My friend said it looked like Bizarro Liberty Square. (Pro tip from our VIP guide: Don’t touch the voodoo queen’s stuff.)
My sense is that there are more scare actors in full, theatrical makeup this year. That gives an even more polished, professional look to an event that’s in operation for only 34 days or so a year.
It’s also my sense that there are fewer triggered sound effects — loud ones, usually — and more live screaming from the cast this time around. The lack of that whacking/popping noise alone stabilizes my stomachlining levels.
Not to be missed: the aerial stunts in the Fallen house. If you don’t catch them the first time, circle back around and go through again.
Among the scare zones, Trick ‘r Treat is a standout and the closest thing to comic relief among the scary offerings. High fives for the stilt walkers. But the bulk of the others felt bottlenecked. I liked seeing Invasion’s flying saucer, but it was too crowded to appreciate fully. It was good to see the Grady twins of “Shining” fame out, but, boy, those girls are camera-shy.
Finally, it’s the final year for “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure.” The storyline tries to wrap it up with a loving bow. Dare I say the plot kind of makes sense? The parts that pertain to 2017 were strong … and where else will you see, even briefly, Justin Bieber dancing with Sean Spicer?