Parent is tired of explaining gender transitioning

Dear Amy: I have two wonderful kids. They are both in the military. One is active, and the other is a veteran on disability, who is also transgender.

When people ask, "How are your girls?" I usually say, "Well, one is now a male," or I'll start by saying, "One of my kids suffered his whole life as a female," and then explain that he finally had surgery and is now very happy as a male transgender.

Amy, some people grasp the idea and show support. Others just stare and don't say much. One woman was so disoriented that she kept repeating, "She is now a male...?!"

I was so taken aback by her reaction that I facetiously said, "And my other daughter was born a chimpanzee!" Then I walked away.

What is the best way to answer people that I haven't seen for a while when they reasonably ask, "How are the girls?"

I won't just say, "Oh, they are fine," because that will be hiding the fact that one is now a male and I am very supportive of him.

I am very proud of both of them. Dear Dad: I can imagine how exhausting it might be to feel like you are always having to educate and reorient people.

But, "Oh, they're fine" is not a cop-out; it is your right to respond this way if you don't feel like explaining gender transitioning in the aisle of the grocery story. (And -- it happens to be true; they are fine.)

Only offer up an explanation if you want to. And if you do, understand that every time you advocate for your son, you help a lot of other people who don't have a supportive and loving parent in their corner. Our perceptions are changing, one conversation at a time.

Dear Amy: I was raised to hug family members when greeting or departing, as a sign of affection. If you didn't hug, it was almost a snub.

When I became engaged, I hugged my future mother-in-law, who told me that she wasn't much for hugging. I was so hurt and humiliated, and never touched her again for any reason. I couldn't warm up to her.

Dear Hugger: I assume there are other reasons you never warmed up to your mother-in-law, although it would have been gracious for her to accept a hug.