Adult male calling, texting girl, 13, worries grandma

Dear Amy: Some time ago, I found out that my 20-year-old granddaughter "Sally's" ex-boyfriend, "Jason," is calling and texting Sally's 13-year-old sister late at night.

When I expressed my concern to these girls' mother (my daughter) that a 20-something male was calling and texting a 13-year-old her mother brushed it off, saying that he had always been close to Sally's younger sisters, and anyway -- he lives five hours away.

This has been going on for months now, and I find it inappropriate, no matter how far away he lives.

Jason and Sally dated for about two years, but I don't suppose Jason saw the younger sisters more than half a dozen times in that time. To be fair, anytime I was aware of him, he seemed to be a thoroughly nice young man, but I still feel that there is something off -- or wrong -- about this.

What is your take?

Dear Grandma: Many boyfriends and girlfriends become very close to their partner's siblings, and see them in a very benign "little sister" sort of way. But, other than an occasional, "Hey, kiddo, I heard you scored a goal in soccer -- good for you!" text, I agree with you that a 20-something should not be in frequent contact with an unrelated adolescent through private channels.

Of course, it is possible that the girl is initiating these communications. A parent should definitely take a closer look at this.

If your daughter (the girl's mother) thinks that a distance of five hours is any serious impediment to an improper relationship, then she hasn't seen enough episodes of "Dateline NBC."

The degree to which a predator can successfully reach a target, without anyone knowing about it, is alarming.

The girl's mother should check the girl's phone and look at texts, investigate any other channels of communication between the two and -- if she doesn't like what she sees -- she should intervene.

She should talk openly with the child and check her reaction regarding interrupting or ceasing contact. The degree to which the girl freaks out is a rough measurement of the intensity of the relationship. The mother should do her best to be understanding and openhearted toward her daughter. Adolescents are emotionally and physically vulnerable, and their parents need to protect them.