Ask Amy: Dispute leads to no visits with grandchildren.

Dear Amy: My parents and I have been in a fight for a while, mostly due to money.

I moved in with my folks (with my husband and our two children). They were receiving a generous amount of money from us, covering rent and bills. We were told we didn't need to pay utility bills, but they asked for extra money, so we did not hesitate.

When I told my folks we were going to move out, my dad got upset, mainly because he would be losing this help.

He said pretty mean things to my husband, and my dad and I got into an altercation where we both said very hurtful words.

It has been a few months now and recently they reached out to me to spend time with my daughter for her birthday.

They didn't call to apologize, didn't call to make amends, just texted me like nothing happened!

How should I respond to this? My daughter, who is 4, misses her grandparents and she asks for them constantly, but I am hurt, my husband is hurt and we believe that they need to try and make amends before we let them see our kids. Dear Upset: I'm going to offer an alternate read of your question.

You move into your parents' house with your husband and two children.

Yes, they receive rent money from you, but they are more than landlords -- they are parents and grandparents, and they make room in their home and in their lives for you and your family during a period when you need it.

You announce that you are moving out, and your father gets upset.

Yes, perhaps he will miss the rent money, but it's also possible that he will miss you.

Did you ever thank your folks for opening their home to you? You don't say that you did. Instead, harsh words were exchanged all around.

In your version, your parents owe you an acknowledgment and apology, even though you and your father both exchanged harsh words. Did you acknowledge or apologize for your own behavior?

You should not withhold contact with your daughter because you are mad at your folks. Your daughter has done nothing wrong, and your parents have not behaved badly toward her.

If you want an explanation, acknowledgment and apology, perhaps you should prove your own maturity by offering one yourself.